


For the Love of Dean Winchester

by whitneyelisbeth



Category: Dean Winchester - Fandom, Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-30 03:50:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 41,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6407611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitneyelisbeth/pseuds/whitneyelisbeth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You (the reader) have lost your family to hunting and have convinced Sam and Dean Winchester to let you come live with them in their bunker. Slowly, you find yourself falling for the older brother while you help the boys do research for their cases. Probably NSFW, contains sexual situations and swearing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

It’s been a few months since you’d sought out the Winchesters. It hadn’t been easy —they were tucked away in their super secret bunker— but it had been worth it. Ever since your mom died on your last hunting trip, you’ve been all alone. Well, you were alone until you finally found Sam and Dean. It still surprised you that they’d taken you in at all. They aren’t exactly the type to let people into their tight little group. Maybe they sympathize with you, they lost both their parents the same way you did, through monsters. No matter what their reason for taking you in, you’re happy they did. You like being with them; they’re like the family you never had. Growing up with mom and dad constantly on the road had been hard but now you finally feel like you’re safe. Sam’s the sweetest guy on the planet and treats you like his little sister, always making sure you have everything you need. You spend a lot of time doing research with him, trying to get the scoop on your latest challenge, whatever that may be.  
  
Dean is the coolest guy you’ve ever met and he knows that. You share his music taste and love for burgers but other than that he’s a mystery to you. You have no idea what he thinks of you. Sometimes he seems like he thinks of you the same way Sam does, as a little sister that needs to be looked out for and taken care of. Then when you least expect it, he’ll say something that makes you think he’s flirting with you. But maybe that was just your imagination letting you believe what you wanted to. You may or may not have a little crush on the brutish Dean Winchester. He was unlike anything you’d ever seen before, you couldn’t help it. You fell into the trap you knew so many other women had before. Honestly, you don’t care about that. It’s just a little crush. You know you’re just sticking around until you can figure something else out or until they don’t want you around anymore. Until then, it’s business. Business meaning winning money in pool and poker games and hunting down what Dean refers to as “evil sons-a-bitches” and killing them. But having a little fun on the way couldn’t hurt.  
  
You look out the window of the Impala and watch the rain drops run down the glass. You were sitting in the parking lot of another greasy burger joint waiting for Dean to come back with tonight’s grub. You have to admit you’re getting a little tired of fast food but you’ll never complain. You’re just thankful to have food. Before you found the Winchester boys you were contemplating selling yourself just so you could get a decent meal. Luckily you’d found them in time. Sure, you’re past being old enough to take care of yourself and had spent many a night alone in a dingy motel room, but you’d never been truly on your own until your mom got snagged by that fucking demon. By the time you were able to exorcize the bitch, it had already snapped your mom’s neck. But that’s something you don’t want to think about. So you focus on bowlegged Dean striding out of Burger Hut. “God but he is perfect”, you think to yourself. He approaches the car and the door creaks open.  
  
“I got ya extra bacon, your favorite,” He winks at you, tossing a greasy bag in your direction.  
  
“You know me so well, thanks,” You peek in the bag.  
  
“Anything for you,” Dean jokes.  
  
That right there, you think, that’s why he confuses you so. “Anything for you” as in you’re like family and he wants you to be happy or “anything for you” as in “I’d let you sit on my face if you asked”? It’s probably the first but you hope for the second. Though it doesn’t matter anyway because he has no idea about the little thing you have for him.  
  
“Ready to hit the road, kid?” Dean asks.  
  
You nod, “Yeah, let’s get the hell out of here. And don’t call me kid, I’m not that much younger than you.”  
  
“Sure thing… Kid.”  
  
The Impala tears up the asphalt, heading back in the direction of the bunker. The rain slows to a drizzle and the sky starts to open up. It was going to be a long stay at the Men of Letters Inn if Dean kept calling you that.  
  
As the weeks go by you become more and more attracted to Dean. You try to ignore the fact that your little thing for him is getting bigger and bigger by the minute. Sammy (he let you call him that now) and you burry your heads in old books day after day as you burry your feelings for his brother. You’re pretty good at it too; you’ve had years of practice with swallowing everything from fear to pride. Sometimes you wonder if you should just leave and get back on the road by yourself. You really don’t want to do that and aren’t sure if you even could. But as good as you are at hiding your crush, deep inside you wonder how much longer you’ll be able to keep it up. Sooner or later it might end up getting in the way of your work.


	2. Getting All Wet

The bunker’s quiet and you can hear Dean showering just down the hall from where you’re standing. You were about to enter your own bathroom and shower but you got distracted by the idea of him being so close yet so far. Every fiber of your being wants to ask him if you could jump in with him, but that’s just a wild fantasy. Dean has no idea how you feel about him or how you want to be with him in every single way. But right now you’re having a hard time focusing on anything but the thought of him with water running down his muscular body. You glance at your bathroom door and bite your lip. Maybe you could think of some reason to go talk to him and get a glimpse of his perfect body. Was that wrong? You wondered these things as you stood in the hallways wrapped in nothing but a short satin robe. You were pretty sure Dean had a thing for you, but that could just be your wild imagination at work. There were times that you were sure if nothing else Dean was physically attracted to you and you were so desperate for him that you would take anything you could get. You were running out of time as you stood there, half naked in the hall of the bunker. Sammy had gone out and Dean had hopped in the shower five minutes ago to wash the blood and sweat of their last mission off. If you were going to act, you had to do it now.  
  
So you walk down the hall a short way to Dean’s bathroom door and knock, already regretting your decision.  
“Hey… Dean?” You enter before he answers.  
  
This is a really bold move on your part and you don’t care about the possible consequences. Again, you’re pretty sure he had a thing for you but at this point you are so consumed by both love and lust that nothing else matters but getting a look at Dean. And it pays. Through the foggy glass of the shower door, you can see his naked outline. He pauses.  
  
“Yeah, is something wrong?”  
  
Your heart is pounding and your mind races for an answer.  
  
“No I just… I wanted to talk to you about something. But I think it can wait until you’re not… You know… Naked.”  
  
There’s a short pause and the shower door slides back a bit so Dean can poke his head out. Through the open crack you can see his leg and part of his upper thigh. Your mouth practically waters as you try to focus on his face.  
  
“Are you sure everything is okay?” You see him process the fact that you’re in a sexy robe. His eyes get a little wider and his lip curls into a smirk.  
For a moment you can’t even form words, you’re just standing there, staring into his perfect green eyes, wondering what’s going to happen next. Deep inside you fantasize about him reaching out and pulling you into the shower with him, even though you know that that probably isn’t going to happen. Probably.  
“Yeah… I don’t know what I was thinking. It can wait.”  
  
There’s a look of wonder and intrigue on his face as he cocks his head at you, the water running behind him.  
  
“Alright, just come down to my room when I get out and we can talk about whatever you need.”  
  
You swear that he checks you out before closing the shower door again. Unable to respond to that, you practically run back to your bathroom and turn on the shower. While it heats up, you check yourself out in the mirror. Did you look good enough for Dean? You sure hoped so. All you wanted was him. All you’d wanted for a few months was him. It was starting to drive you crazy. You wanted to sleep with him, you wanted to sleep next to him, you wanted to make physical contact with him without it being awkward. You just wanted to feel his skin on yours.  
  
Once you drop your robe, you climb into the shower and sit on the floor for five minutes, letting the water run over your head. All you can do is imagine Dean’s skin through the shower door. You were barely able to make out his outline but you could still tell how muscular he was… Everywhere. The image will be the subject of your fantasies for months to come. He is delicious, there’s no other way to put it. Sure, you love his personality, the jokes he makes, his taste in music, and pretty much everything else, but he’s so physically attractive that you can’t think of much else for the moment. You let yourself imagine him bitting his lip, looking at you. He tugs open your robe and pulls you into the shower with him. This fantasy is the best you’ve ever had because it could have happened moments before. After pulling yourself off the shower floor, you get out and wrap yourself in a towel and dry off. After picking up your robe, you start to head back to your room to get dressed. You’re about halfway there when you hear Dean call you.  
  
“Y/N!!!” He calls in his deep, rough voice, “C’mere!”  
  
You stop in your tracks, “Dean I just got out of the s—”  
  
“Just come here,” He cuts you off.  
  
No other man in the world could ever tell you what to do under any circumstances but this is Dean Winchester calling for you while you're wrapped in a towel. So you go to him. He’s down a hall off of the one with the bathrooms and you walk down it, your feet padding on the cold floor. Dean’s door is open a crack and you push it the rest of the way open. He stands there shirtless, still fastening his jeans. Again, you try not to stare, but its so hard when you so desperately want to see what’s underneath. He looks at you in your short blue towel and smirks again. It feels like he’s purposely teasing you.  
  
“Hey,” He licks his lips. Dean sits down on the edge of his bed and reaches behind him to grab a t-shirt. But he doesn't put it on. God you want him.  
  
“Hey… Look, I’m sorry for walking in on you in the shower. I was’t thinking.” You hear yourself say.  
  
He chuckles, “It’s all fine, wouldn’t be the first time a woman’s done that to me,” He chuckles again, “So what did you want to talk about?”  
  
Your heart thumps in your chest and adrenaline rushes through your veins while Dean waits for an answer. You were about to tell him you wanted him.  
  
“I ugh… Lately I’ve been having some feelings… About you… It’s what drove me to open your bathroom door today.” You bite your lip and look at the floor.  
  
“I think I know what you mean.”  
  
“You do?” You ask, looking up at him.  
  
Dean stands up in front of you and puts a hand on your neck, sliding it up so he's holding the side of your face. He puts the fingers of his other hand under your chin and touches your bottom lip with his thumb. He bends down so his face is inches from yours. You can almost feel his kiss. Then he whispers, “But what if I don’t feel the same?”.  
  
“What?” You’re caught off guard.  
  
He lets go of you and stands to his full height again, “What if I don’t feel the same? What if I don’t want another physical relationship with no feelings?”  
“But what if its more than that?” You look up at him.  
  
He doesn’t look at you, “I don’t think we should talk about that.”  
  
“But Dean… Why?” Your heart is starting to sink.  
  
“Because what if I don’t feel the same? What if something changes between us? What if we can't work together anymore? Do you really wanna get into that?” This time he looks at you.  
  
You’re fighting back the urge to cry and can barely meet his eyes, “I don’t care. I just want you to know how I feel. It’s killing me inside and I gotta let it out!”  
  
Dean slips on his shirt, “I’m sorry kiddo,” He kisses the top of your head, “But I can’t let you do that.”  
  
He walks passed you and out of the room, leaving you there hopeless. As soon as he’s down the hall, you sprint back to your room and slam the door shut. Within seconds you burst out in tears of sadness and frustration. How will you go on like this, in love with Dean Winchester while he doesn’t love you back? You’re heart broken. He was right in not letting you tell him how you feel. But you could have sworn he’d been teasing you for weeks, just like he had today. The “accidental” arm brushes, the way he’d wink at you occasionally, and how it always felt like he was trying to get you alone… How could you have been so wrong? While you put on your bra and underwear, you ponder how you’d misjudged his intentions. You let yourself cry a little more while putting on your jeans. You’d never been heartbroken before and had no idea it would hurt so much being rejected by Dean. You really thought that he was at least physically attracted to you. How could you have been so wrong?  
  
You pace your room and force yourself to stop crying. You’re better than this. You have work to do in the bunker still and it is more important than you and Dean. The world depends on you and the Winchesters solving problems it doesn’t even know it has. You dry your hair and look at yourself in the mirror. Although it hurt like a bitch, you still have to be a hero and work along side the boys. It won’t be so bad because Sam didn’t know what had happened and Dean didn’t let you voice your feelings. You still have your dignity. You hadn’t even cried in front of him. You can do this. Maybe. It had been maybe twenty minutes since you’d left Deans room and you’re starting to actually feel better. You’ll have to face your sexual attraction to Dean later but for now your heartbreak is subsiding and you can deal with seeing him and working with him. You finally get up to put on a shirt when you hear footsteps in the hall.  
  
As you open one of your dresser drawers, your bedroom door swings open gently. Filling your doorway is none other than Dean Winchester.  
  
“Dean!” You reach to grab a shirt and cover yourself but you don’t have time.  
  
Within seconds he strides across the room and grabs you at your ribcage and pins you to the wall.  
  
“Dean! What are you—”  
  
He presses his body to yours and whispers, “I’m sorry… I love you.”  
  
Before you can respond, his mouth is on yours, parting your lips and pulling you into a passionate kiss. You lace your fingers through his hair and he kisses you like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted. After a minute or so you stop to catch your breath.  
  
“Dean, why did you let me believe you didn’t want me? My heart was broken,” You tell him.  
  
Dean holds you by the hips, “Because I wasn’t a hundred percent sure how I felt yet, I wasn’t quite there yet. But seeing you so upset brought me there. You’re too good to pass up.”  
  
He kisses you again, pressing you tighter to the wall with his body. You just can’t get enough of him. Dean’s running his hands all over your body, feeling for any patch of skin he can get his hands on. You’re dragging your nails up his back so he can feel it through his shirt. His kiss is better than anything you’ve ever felt in your life. Every ounce of sadness or stress you’ve ever experienced washes away with the taste of Dean Winchester’s mouth. You reach down to pull up his shirt and he dodges you.  
“Oh no you don’t!!” He pushes you hands away.  
  
“What? Why?!” You’re confused and all you want to do is touch his skin, to feel it on yours.  
  
“Because! If you start undressing me, then I’m going to start undressing you and then we’re going to end up tearing each other apart in bed!” He says before beginning to kiss your neck seductively.  
  
“Exactly! Now take your damn pants off!!”  
  
Dean shoves you onto your bed and leans over you, pushing his body into yours as much as he can, “Nope… Even though I love you, I’m still going to tease the holy hell out of you for a while.”  
  
“Deeeeeeeeeean!” You practically moan, “But I’ve wanted you for so long!”  
  
“Oh, I love it when you talk dirty…” He chuckles, “But I just can’t let you have it yet.”  
  
He lays a hand on your chest and squeezes while he drags his tongue on your neck, before pulling away completely.  
  
“You bastard!!!” You growl.  
  
Dean eyes you and bites his lip, “You think I don’t want it?” He glances down at the bulge in his jeans, “I wanna see how long you can last before you beg me.”  
  
You sit up and put your hands on your hips, “I will not beg!”  
  
“Well then let’s go sweetheart, game on!”  
  
He leaves the room and you get up, trying to comprehend what had just happened. You put a shirt on and stand looking at yourself in a mirror for a few seconds.  
  
“And by the way,” Dean popped his head back in, “If you try taking care of yourself before I get to take care of you, you’re never going to get it,” He winked at you and walked away again.  
  
“Bastard!!” You called after him and heard him laugh walking down the hall.  
  
The images of Dean in the shower came back to you and you collapse on your bed. You knew your life was about to get a lot harder with Dean’s new mission to tease you until you give. And how were you to resist with that hot piece of man walking around. But two could play at that game. You’d get back at him. You’d get him to crack. He’d get a taste of his own medicine.


	3. Such a Tease

Later that night, you’re sitting at the main table with Sammy pouring over lore and research when Dean walks in from the garage. When you see him your jaw drops. His usually stunning muscles are clearly displayed in a grey wife-beater tank top. He’s covered in sweat and grease and as much as you loved seeing him all cleaned up, it was just as hot to see him dirty. You catch Dean’s eye and he smirks, flexing his arms so his muscles ripple for you.  
  
“How’s it going Sammy? Anything new?” He asks, still focusing on you.  
  
Sam doesn’t even look up, “Nope, I got jack squat.”  
  
“Damn… Sorry to hear that. Let me know if you need anything” Dean walks off toward the hall.  
  
Sam nods, “I will, but I think for now Y/N and I got it covered.”  
  
Dean looks back at you and nods toward the hall, telling you that you should follow before leaving you with Sammy.  
  
You stand up slowly, feeling bad about ditching him, “Hey Sam? I think I’m actually gonna take a break for a while, okay? Unless you really need me, then I can stick it out.”  
  
“No it’s fine. I think I’m going to quit soon anyway. We’re not getting anywhere right now anyway,” He puts down some papers, “Oh and will you do me a favor?”  
  
Nodding you say, “Sure! Anything!”  
  
“Tell my brother to put a damn shirt on.”  
  
You laugh, “Sure thing, man.”  
  
You follow Dean down the hallway, jogging a little to catch up with him. You look back to see that Sam’s putting away the papers and books you'd been looking at for the past two hours. Sometimes working with the boys is like being in college. There’s a lot of work involved in hunting and saving people. In the end it’s all worth it, especially now that you would have Dean to mess around with when you finished working a job. You wonder if there was any way Sam would find out or how he’d feel about you and his brother. If anything he’d probably be happy that Dean has something to distract him from the constant mental demands of their work. But honestly, none of that mattered right now.  
  
Once you and Dean are around the corner a little way and out of Sam’s view, he stops and pushes you against the wall.  
  
“Is that your only move?” You tease.  
  
Wordlessly, he drops to his knees in front of you and lifts your shirt to reveal your stomach.  
  
“While you’re down there, Dean…”  
  
“Shut up,” He replies gruffly.  
  
You roll your eyes. Dean slides his hand up your shirt, softly brushing your skin on the way up. You lean back and close your eyes and feel his lips on your stomach. His strong hands feel so nice on your body as he massages your boob through your bra. He continues to kiss your skin, pulling slightly on the waistband of your jeans to get to that sensitive area between your hips. You just love the feeling of him touching you and it sends little sparks through your whole body. As much as you wanted to bang him, this was almost better than sex. You open your eyes to look at him and he glances up at you.  
  
“You’re gonna beg, bitch,” Dean growls.  
  
There isn’t another man in the world you would let talk to you like that, even if it were part of this game you were playing with him and had no real meaning. If anyone else said that to you, you’d knock them out cold. When Dean did it, it was a turn on.  
  
“I don’t think so,” You push him to the ground with your foot and get on top of him. You straddle him like a horse, positioning yourself so his package is directly between your legs. This was another fantasy you’d had of Dean. You weren’t about to let him win this round. Maybe you could get him to beg. Grinding your hips into him, you grip his belt and waistband like you’re riding a mechanical bull. His head is tipped back and his eyes are closed. You might actually be winning.  
  
“Fuuuuuck you,” Dean groans.  
  
“Yes, that’s the idea… Fuck me.”  
  
Nothing turned you on more than getting a guy going like this and this is Dean Winchester you were teasing. To you that name has more value than any other. He’s a rockstar, a super hero, a villain… He’s the bad boy with a good heart that you along with so many other girls had always dreamed of. And here he is, flat on his back practically moaning for you. Check that off your bucket list.  
  
When he can’t take it anymore, he sits up and gets you off of him. Dean stands and pulls you to your feet.  
  
“I’m going to go shower again and get this grease off, if you’d like to come watch,” He invites you.  
  
“Mmmm I would… Very much so,” You follow him down the hall again.  
  
He scratches his head, “You know something? You never told me that you love me. I just kind of assumed.”  
  
The two of you go into his room so he can grab his towel. Dean whips off his shirt and looks at you.  
  
“Yeah and I’m not going to tell you until you bang me.”  
  
He grabs your chin and looks you deep in the eyes, “Now that’s just fucking cruel. I refuse to have sex with you until you say you love me back.” He squeezes your chin, showing the slightest bit of aggression.  
  
“That’s gotta be a first for you Mr. Winchester,” You smirk, “Bring it, pretty boy.”  
  
Dean lets go of you and walks out of his room, entering his bathroom for his second shower of the day, and this time you get to follow him in. You close the bathroom door and lock it just in case. You enjoy this little game you’re playing with him, trying to see who will cave first. It distracted you a little bit from the fact that Dean actually told you he loves you. That’s something you’d never expected to hear from him. It makes you happy and a little guilty that you haven’t said it back yet but maybe it was a little karma for all the hearts he’d broken over the years. And you’d say it eventually; you just want to have your fun first. And this… This was fun.  
  
Dean’s facing away from you but you can hear him unzip his jeans. There’s a slight pause before he drops them to the floor. His underwear soon follow them and you’re left standing there staring at his bare ass. Even his butt is amazing. Still, you desperately want to see what’s on the other side. Dean looks over his shoulder at you to make sure your watching and gets into the shower. He keeps the door part of the way open so that you occasionally get a glimpse of his skin as water runs over it. He stands close to the foggy glass, but not close enough so that you can see all the details of his body. He was teasing you again. As you’re enjoying this little display, an idea comes to your head. You pull up your shirt and bra and press you exposed skin to the door for him to see from the other side. You hold yourself there for a moment and Dean touches the glass as though longing to touch you. The door slides open gently and you back away from the glass, not letting your shirt fall back down. Dean stands there in the shower, baring all for you to see. He looks as frustrated as you feel, like its taking every ounce of his willpower not to take you. Your eyes travel down his firm chest and strong abs. They wander past his hips and V-lines, right to what you’ve been waiting so long to see. Dean Winchester’s cock. He’s hung exactly as you expected him to be. Eight solid inches of perfection, exactly the right size. Usually male anatomy isn’t much of a turn on for you; all dicks look the same after a while. But the wondering and mystery and the teasing you underwent before having the privilege to see his package made you feel like you’d uncovered buried treasure. It was everything you wanted and more. All you can say is:  
  
“Fuck…”  
  
“Take off your clothes… Now.”  
  
You hesitate for a moment, wondering if you’d gotten him to crack that easily. You sure hope not. This is too much fun. Then, you tear off everything as fast as you can and let Dean pull you into the shower with him. This morning that had been a crazy fantasy you thought would never come true and now you were being pulled into a steamy shower with Dean. Maybe dreams really do come true. He shuts the door again closing you both inside. The tension between you is very present.  
  
“Lemme look at you,” He says softly.  
  
You let him look you up and down and examine your body like a piece of art. You even turn around for him so he can see the back. Dean makes a noise of arousal.  
  
“Ohhhh.. Look at that ass,” He says in a low voice, taking a handful of it to squeeze.  
  
“I thought you might like it,” You tell him, “You can play with it if you want.”  
  
You feel Dean’s hand push your upper back forward and you put your hands on the wall in front of you. You’re bent over in the shower for him, waiting to see what his next move will be.  
  
“What are you gonna do with me, master?” You taunt him.  
  
“Mmmmm don’t tease me like that, baby.”  
  
“Isn’t that the whole point sir?” You go on.  
  
Smack! His hand collides with your ass with just the right amount of pain and pleasure.  
  
“I told you not to tease me like that.”  
  
You look over your shoulder at him, “Is that something you’re into? Because I’m game.”  
  
“You just wait until you give in. You’ll see exactly how into it I am,” Dean reaches a hand down and places on your stomach, the other planted firmly on your upper thigh. Your bodies are pressed together and you can feel Dean’s dick on your skin. For a moment you consider quitting and giving in to Dean but that moment passes as you get another idea. You stand up straight, turn around, and grab Dean by the shoulders, all with one swift movement. Then, you back him into the wall, grinding yourself on his package.  
  
You smile, “I’m going to get you to crack, you know that right?”  
  
He puts his hands on your hips, enjoying it, “No you’re not. I always win this game.”  
  
“We’ll see about that one.”  
  
You take a step forward and let the water from the shower head wash over you. The soap is on one of those little ledges on the shower wall and you grab it with the intention of washing Dean. He’s standing close behind you when you turn around to face him. He grabs your face and kisses you passionately. Once he lets you go, you take the soap and rub it across his chest, gently scrubbing the grease away. Dean’s caressing your skin and you find yourself smiling. The dynamic of the situation has definitely changed and very quickly so. The sexual tension is still very much there but you’re not teasing each other anymore.  
  
“I really do care about you, you know,” He gazes at you with his beautiful green eyes.  
  
“I care about you Dean, and earlier I was going to tell you how much.”  
  
He pulls you into his strong arms, “You still can.”  
  
The two of you let the water hit you while you embrace. You hold him as tight as you can, just loving the feeling of his skin on yours.  
  
“I will Dean… But I’m going to make you work for it first.”  
  
A half smile appears across Dean’s face and he shakes his head at you, “Still gonna play hard to get, huh? Have it your way.”  
  
He wraps an arm around your lower back and uses the opposite hand to play with your chest. It feels so nice that you let out a slight giggle.  
  
“Dean?!” Sam calls while knocking on the outside of the door.  
  
You both freeze.  
  
“Yeah Sammy?”  
  
“Have you seen Y/N? She disappeared after she got up from the table.”  
  
Dean looks at you, “I’m sure she’s around here somewhere. I talked to her just before I got in the shower. She couldn’t have gone far,” He smiles, “Now can I shower in peace please?”  
  
“Yeah, sure thing. Thanks.”  
  
You hear Sam walk away, “We’re not going to tell Sam about us?” You ask.  
  
Dean shrugs, “We will, but for now, it’s kinda fun to share a little secret, don’t you think? It’s kinda… Romantic and sexy.”  
  
You kiss him softly, opening his lips just enough to let your tongue dance with his. You’ll never quite get used to kissing Dean. It just feels like heaven to you. You’ve lusted for him for so long that you almost forgot how much you love him and honestly, you can’t wait to tell him.


	4. The Still of the Night

It’s the middle of the night and the bunker is pitch dark. It’s the kind of darkness you only get when there’s a blackout and everything goes down. You wander down the hall regretting not bringing your phone for its flashlight. The floors are cold under your bare feet and you feel like a child, stumbling blindly through the night. Even though you are a hunter, you’d still held on to some of your childhood fear of the dark. If anything, being a hunter makes the fear worse because you know about all the things that lurk in the night. At least you know that this is the safest place in the world and the only people who know where it is are either friendly or dead. Or Crowley, but he wasn’t about to pop up while you felt your way back from the bathroom. Your room and Dean’s room are down the same stretch of hall and Sam’s is only a few turns away. If anything did ever grab you, you’d scream and they’d come running to your rescue, guns cocked. That wouldn’t happened though, and you knew it.  
  
Suddenly, you long for Dean. It’s late and you’re tired which always makes you more emotional than usual. It dawns on you that now you can just slip into bed with him if you want. That is, if he didn’t get startled and kill you with the knife under his pillow. You’d have to be careful and wake him gently before crawling in next to him. So you make your way to his room and tap open the door. From the doorway you can see him in bed, lying on his stomach as always. You feel a kind of relief wash over you. Moving slowly, you approach his bed and kneel next to it. Your face close to his, you kiss Dean’s cheek softly. Instantly his eyes fly open and you back up a little in fear of getting knifed. Quickly, Dean registers the fact that its you and reaches out a hand for you to take.  
  
“I’m sorry to wake you,” You take it and he helps you into bed.  
  
“You didn’t really, I wasn’t sleeping well,” He rubs his green eyes.  
  
You can see in those eyes that he’s tired. Not like cute sleepy, needs a nap tired, but tired of everything. It’s been a hard life for Dean and you know this isn’t the first night he’d had trouble getting rest. It’s honestly a wonder that him and Sam are still going. They’ve been ready to quit so many times and yet here they are, still pulling through, only stopping to eat and sleep. You feel bad for Dean and want to get him to rest. So you face him and run your fingers through his hair.  
  
“I’m sorry, is something wrong? Anything I can do for you?”  
  
“Yeah I was just… Missing something.”  
  
Dean holds you close and you smile, liking the idea of him wanting you like you’d wanted him.  
  
“I know exactly how you feel.”  
  
‘I’m really glad you came in. I was thinking about coming to you because these thoughts of you were starting to drive me crazy.”  
  
You kiss his nose, “Well, you’re pretty crazy to begin with, Dean.”  
  
“Shut up,” He says playfully, “They were driving me crazier.”  
  
Your forehead is pressed against his and the two of you are about as close as two people can be. Your heart is filled with warmth and love. A week ago you would have killed just to have Dean touch your hand and now you’re curled up in his bed. Now you no longer feel like you’re obsessed with him and more like you’re actually in love with him. You’ve never really been in love before. Until you’d convinced the Winchesters to take you in, your life had been nothing much besides hunting. It had been empty and you’d never felt loved or had a real family. Sure you loved your mother and she loved you but it had never been anything close to what you had with Sam and Dean. It had always been like you loved each other because you had to not because you just did. And sure the Winchester’s are a little broken and there’s an angel in the family but it was a family all the same. That’s enough for you. Best of all you’re getting cozy with Dean and having a little fun with it. Things seem pretty great.  
  
“C’mere,” Dean pulls you on top of him.  
  
You brush his hair back and kiss his forehead. He kisses down your neck and grips your arms tighter like he's going to pull you even closer. He pauses and looks at what you’re wearing.  
  
“Is this a cut up Guns N’ Roses shirt? Did you really cut this into a tank top? That’s a crime,” He teases.  
  
You shake your head, “No I bought it like this. You think I’d be able to take a pair of scissors to anything with Axl Rose’s face on it?”  
  
Dean chuckles, “Good point… I like it on you.”  
  
“Thanks,” You lean down and plant a few kisses on his lips, “I bet you’d like it off me even more.”  
  
“I was trying to go thirty seconds without violating you.”  
  
“Is it violating me if I ask you to do it?”  
  
“… Good point.”  
  
Dean pulls the bottom of your shirt up over your head and then you help him out of his. He runs his hand up your stomach, feeling your soft skin, “You’re right, I do like it better off you…”  
  
Without hesitation he flips you so he’s on top gazing down at you.  
  
“I love it when you take control.”  
  
“The things I would do to you if you weren’t being so damn stubborn and would just say that you love me.”  
  
You batt your eyes at him, “You could do them anyway and prove that you love me,” You try and coax him.  
  
Dean kisses your cheek and locks eyes with you, “I think I’m proving it more by waiting, don’t you? Trust me, it’s taking every ounce of my will power to not devour you.”  
  
He kisses down your neck and collarbone, pausing to take a small bite of your neck. Moving down, he peppers your chest with wet kisses that make you question why you were being “so damn stubborn”. Dean starts using his teeth and nibbles all the spots he kissed. You hold back a moan and grip his shoulders.  
  
‘Stooooop…” You groan.  
  
He lifts his head and gives you a cocky half smile, “But you seem to be enjoying yourself.”  
  
“That’s the problem… I don’t know if I could get myself to stop once you get me going…” You breathe.  
  
“Fine. I’ll stop… This time,” Dean plants one last sloppy kiss on your nipple and rolls off of you.  
  
“I want you,” You manage.  
  
“And I want you. Bad. But you know the deal,” He says, shaking his head at you.  
  
When he lies back down next to you, you nestle in next to him and put your head in the crook of his neck. The two of you lie there and you playfully run your hand up and down the length of his body, stopping at the bulge in his boxers. You feel him tense a little as you trace your fingers along it, trying to recapture the image of him standing naked in the shower.  
  
“I honestly cannot wait to play with it,” You tell him.  
  
“Play with wh— Oh… Well if you would quit your shit, we could get busy.”  
  
“Tell me something, Dean. Why are you fighting so hard? Why are you even bothering with me while I continue to tease you?”  
“Well, I told you how I feel about you. You’re not only the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, but you’re also the funniest and the most clever. You’re fun to work with and you’re sexy as hell. You’re the most genuine woman I’ve ever met. And your music taste is almost as good as mine,” He muses, his words music to your ears.  
  
“Come on. You’ve had so many women. Bartenders, waitresses, hookers, girls you've met at bars… And you’re gonna tell me that I’m the most beautiful? Don’t give me that crap. Don’t lie to me.”  
  
“You’re right, I’ve had a lot of beautiful, sexy, slutty—“  
  
“Dean!”  
  
“Sorry! Right… Anyway. I’ve had a lot of women but ever since you came along I haven’t looked at anyone the same. I can’t even think about another woman. You are the most beautiful. There’s a difference in the way I saw the women I’ve banged in a motel room and the way I see you. You’re so much better than them.”  
  
You remember something, “Yeah, but what about that girl you met in the bar the other night? Didn’t you go home with her?”  
  
“Blondie? Yeah she didn’t have much going for her. Had nothing on you, your boobs are bigger,” He chuckles at himself and continues, “Nah… I pretended to go home with her. I brought her back to her place and put her to bed. She was so drunk she probably doesn’t remember a thing.”  
  
Dean looks sincere, though you’re not sure why you care anyway. It’s not like you had dibs on him or something. You just didn’t like being lied to. Or at least that’s what you told yourself.  
  
“I’ve wanted you for a while, Y/N. You’ve been driving me crazy.”  
  
You laugh, “Welcome to the last two months of my life,” You reply.  
  
You’re still running your hand up and down Dean’s body and you shorten your movements so you're stroking his chest. The two of you sit there in silence for a moment before you grab the back of his neck and kiss him hard. He looks at you with a combination of love and lust. You close your eyes and run your fingers through his light hair. Being snuggled up to him reminds you how tired you are. His is warm and soft against yours. It had been a while since you’ve been even this physical with someone. But more than that it had been a while since you’ve felt this much for someone. You couldn't go any longer without telling him.  
  
“Hey, Dean? I… I love you.”  
  
There’s no response. You open your eyes to see Dean fast asleep, mouth hanging slightly ajar.  
  
“You son-of-a-bitch.”  
  
You close your eyes and start to drift off. You’ll just have to tell him tomorrow. Maybe. 

  


~.~.~.~.~

  


When you wake up in the morning, Dean isn’t there. You snatch your shirt up off the floor and pull it over your head. You’ve never felt so rested in your life. It was like you’d spent a weekend at an expensive resort where everyone there is paid to serve your every need. Stretching, you get up and pull open Dean’s bedroom door. From somewhere in the bunker, you can hear Sam humming along to something terrible playing on the radio. Judging by the smell you guess that he’s in the kitchen. After making your way back to your room and getting dressed, you follow the scent of bacon to the kitchen. Sam is there, towering over the stove with a pan full of grease in his hand.  
“Morning, Sam!”  
  
“Hey, Y/N! I made breakfast!” He gestures toward the pile of waffles, bacon, and eggs on a plate next to the stove.  
  
“Awesome, I’m starving!” You reach for the plate.  
  
Sam blocks your hand, “Oh no you don’t! We gotta wait for Dean, he’d be so pissed,” He tells you.  
  
“Where is he?”  
  
Sam turns and pulls three plates out of the cabinet, “He went to get coffee I think.”  
  
You glance at the counter, “Is our coffee maker broken?”  
  
“Nah, he’s getting some stuff from that over-priced, hipster coffee place you like,” Sam says over his shoulder while getting forks and knives for you guys.  
“You mean Starbucks? What the hell, why is he going there?”  
  
He shrugs, “Your guess is as good as mine. He used to make fun of me for drinking ‘girly’ coffee and now he’s making Starbucks runs.”  
Dean was getting coffee from your favorite place. He certainly would not fit in there. Something was up and you’re pretty sure it has something to do with you and him. A couple of minutes later, you hear the door to the bunker fly open. The sound of Dean belting out Highway to Hell echoes off the walls.  
  
“Someone’s in a good mood,” Sam raises an eyebrow, looking at you.  
Dean comes into view carrying a drink tray and greets the two of you, “Heya, Sammy! Morning, Y/N! Sam I got you a latte and Y/N I got you something with mocha in it, whatever that means.”  
He doles out the cups of five dollar coffee and eyes the bacon, “Is that for everyone?” Dean asks.  
“No, I made breakfast for just Y/N and me.”  
For moment Dean looks disappointed before he realizes his brother is kidding.  
“Don’t mess with me when it’s about bacon, man.”  
He takes a swig of his coffee and loads up his waiting plate.  
“Well.. Time to dig in,” Sam says doing the same.  
You grab yourself a waffle and some eggs. Dean drops some perfectly cooked bacon on your plate and winks at you, then you proceed in drenching everything in syrup. The three of you migrate to the table and sit down, you across from Dean with Sam at the head. Dean tells you guys of his adventure at Starbucks.  
“That was not fun for me, let me tell you. Do you guys know how hard it is to order from that Star-crap place? It’s like they use a foreign language. What the hell does ‘venti’ mean?”  
“Large,” Sam and you say in unison.  
Dean shrugs it off and shovels eggs in his mouth, “Well I’m never doing that again. I was trying to be nice to Y/N but it’s not worth it. I feel like I have to shower from just going there!”  
The conversation progresses nicely and Sam talks about a case he’d found that might be something him and Dean should check out. Every time Sam looks down, Dean makes a face at you, most of them sexual, and you try not to laugh. Then suddenly he cracks a half smile at you and glances at Sam.  
“You know, I had the strangest dream last night that Y/N was in my room,” Dean shares.  
You glare at him, “Oh yeah?”  
“Yeah it was weird… I think you were trying to seduce me. It was kinda hot.”  
“Ew, Dean… No more sharing your strange erotic dreams at the table,” Sam scrunches up his face.  
“What? I can’t help what my mind comes up with!”  
You stare Dean down from across the table, “I had a weird dream kinda like that too, only it was about Sam. And I know he was trying to seduce me,” You laugh, trying to make it obvious you’re kidding as to not make Sam uncomfortable.  
The younger brother chuckles, “Now that I can get behind!”  
Dean clenches his jaw and you blow a kiss to him when Sam looks away.  
“Now that is disgusting,” He says, pushing his half finished plate of food away.  
“What? I can’t help what my mind comes up with!”  
This time Dean’s the one glaring at you. Making him jealous was all too easy and much too enjoyable for you.  
“I still think it’s pretty disgusting.”  
“I could describe it to you if you’d like,” You offer.  
“Shut the fuck up.”  
Sam interrupts, “Hey, Dean, come on. We’re just kidding around here, aren’t we?” He looks at you for help.  
You get up and stand behind Sam. Dean watches you like a hawk as you hug Sam’s neck.  
“Of course we’re kidding! I love Sammy, he’s like the brother I always wanted! It would be creepy if I thought about him like that,” You squeeze him a little.  
Sam grabs on to your arms, returning the hug, “I love you too, kid.”  
“I’m the only one who gets to call her kid,” Dean practically growls.  
You release Sam and sit back down at the table. Sam looks at Dean confused by this aggression.  
“Dude, you need to eat more or something. You’re being pretty bitchy.”  
Dean finishes his plate and stands up, “Food was great Sam, thanks.”  
He brings his plate to the kitchen and you hear him drop it in the sink with a loud clatter before sulking off down the hall.  
“God, what’s his problem?” Sam asks.  
You shrug, “Must be his time of the month.”  
The happy mood the three of you had going was dead, just like that. Part of you felt bad about what had just happened, but it wasn’t like you had any idea he’d react that strongly to a little joking with his brother. Plus he’d get over it. You hoped.  



	5. Better to Be Feared Than Loved

After Dean had left the table Sam had asked you if you’d go to the nearest library with him and help him dig up some stuff related to that case he and Dean are thinking about taking. You really wanted to spend the day with Dean but you had agreed to go. Work comes first; that was the rule you’d made for yourself. So you walk down the hall to get your bag when Dean snatches you out of nowhere. Without a word he pulls you into his room and closes the door.  
“What’s wrong?” You ask, worried.  
“You think this is funny? You’re gonna start flirting with Sam now? Telling him you love him, getting all touchy-feely… That’s my fucking brother! But I will end him, Y/N, I will end you.”  
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Dean, calm down! We were kidding around, I didn’t mean anything by it! I was just teasing you like you were me!” You explain, just the slightest bit scared.  
Your words don’t phase him and he’s still ripping pissed, “Don’t you think you’ve teased me enough?! If you’re not serious about this, just tell me now and I’ll leave you alone!”  
Dean is genuinely upset. Not just a little bit either. He has that violent look in his eyes and that scares you. He was ready to put a bullet in his brother over you.  
“Dean, I am as serious about this as you are.” You try and swallow the anger and fear building in you.  
He backs you against the door, “Then prove it!”  
You stare at him for a minute not knowing what to do next.  
“I’m going to lose my patience with this game we’re playing if you start acting like this! If you really love me, you’ll just say it. I’m starting to think you’re just playing with me. If that’s the case, then I don’t want you around.”  
“I did say it! Last night, and if you had been awake for thirty more seconds you would have heard me say it.” You say, dryly.  
Now you’re pissed and Dean backs off.  
“I… I thought that was a dream.”  
“Yeah well it wasn’t,” You spit.  
“I… I’m sorry… Y/N…”  
“You know what? Forget it. Forget the whole thing. I’m going to the library with Sam because he needs me. I don’t have time for this shit,” You push him away from you, “Goodbye Dean.”  
You open the door and Dean grabs you arm, “Wait, please don’t. Y/N please.”  
“I’ll see you later.”  
Leaving him behind, you grab your bag and your phone from your bed. Sam’s waiting for you by the front door when you emerge from the hall.  
“Hey, everything okay? I could have sworn I heard Dean yelling.”  
“Yeah, everything’s fine. We were just joking around, you know?” You lie to him as you climb the stairs, “Let’s hit the road.”  
He holds the door for you, “Alright, let’s go!”

~.~.~.~.~

An hour later you and Sam have records of dead people going back fifty years spread out over a big table. Your phone has gone off at least thirty times since you left the bunker and all of the notifications are from Dean. You’ve read them all but haven’t responded to a single one. But Dean was persistent. You’re reading what feels like the thousandth newspaper article when your phone goes off yet again. You look over at it and Sam looks up. You pick up your phone and unlock it.  
“Y/N who is that? You sound like you have a stalker,” Sam says.  
You read the message, “It’s nothing, just someone who really wants my attention.”  
“Is some guy bothering you? Because I can set him straight for you. I wouldn’t want anyone giving you a hard time.”  
You give him a smile and shake your head again, “Thank you but I can handle it. Nothing I hadn’t been through before.”  
He shrugs and slides over a file he’d been compiling. You leaf through it, impressed as usual, “It seems like you have something here, man!”  
“Yeah, I hope Dean thinks so too. Though I don’t know after this morning. He was willing to kill us both.”  
“Yeah I know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that aggressive,” You agree.  
“Well I have, but I’ve been riding with him for a long time. And he’s my brother; I’m supposed to piss him off until he wants to kill me. But you… I can’t believe he was that angry at you. He must have something going on.”  
“That was just something I never expected to see from him. It was kind of scary.”  
“He’ll get over himself, don’t worry. Then we’ll be one big happy family again,” Sam laughs, “I’m glad you came around. We needed someone like you in our lives.”  
“Like me? You mean annoying and hungry all the time?”  
“No, someone to help me with research and keep Dean from losing his mind. You’re fun to have around and let me tell you a secret; I think Dean has a thing for you. It might be why he was so crazy earlier.”  
You consider just telling Sam about everything. He gives you that feeling that you could and he’d help you through it. He’d make it better. He just gave off that vibe. Maybe that’s why people opened up to him when he was working a case. All he had to do was plant an idea in your head and suddenly you wanted to tell him everything. It was in the eyes really, they were like that of a puppy. Soft and innocent. You felt for a moment that Sam could fix everything in your life, from this problem with his brother to the broken heart you’d had five years ago. It took you a minute to shake off the feeling. Telling Sam about you and Dean wouldn’t do anything but make things awkward for everyone.  
You’re not even sure if you want Dean at the moment. You don’t deal well with fear and back at the bunker, Dean scared you. The only men in the world that scare you are monsters and those monsters either got shot, beheaded, or deep fried. You don’t want to think of Dean as a monster but maybe you were going to have to. You know you were wrong for making Dean jealous on purpose, but it was no excuse for him to act like that. Nothing gave him that right.  
Sam’s ready to fight the guy who’s bothering you and you find it funny that that guy is his brother. You scroll through the messages Dean has sent you. They were various apologies in every word phrasing possible. In the last few messages he was just begging you to answer him. With a glance at Sam, you type back.  
**“Dean, I really can’t believe the way you acted. You can’t just make it go away by saying you’re sorry.”**  
Almost instantly you see those three dots appear at the bottom of your screen and you know Dean’s typing back.  
**“I’ll do anything. Please. Just let my try.”**  
You sigh and contemplate your reply.  
**“We’ll talk about this later. You’re not off the hook yet. I expect MAJOR compensation.”**  
With that you turn off your phone. Before long you and Sam are done with your work and pack up to go home. The car ride is nice and the two of you discuss possible creatures that could be wreaking havoc on a small southern town. You genuinely enjoy working with the boys and you really hope that Dean and you will work everything out, one way or another. You refuse to be treated with anything less than respect. It’s not like you were asking to be treated like a queen. You only want to be treated like a human. Dean is completely capable of that and you know it. The feelings you have for him are intense and that’s why this little incident hurt so bad. That and the fact that you’re willful and can hold your own with the best of them. No one was ever going to hold you down, not even someone as perfectly imperfect as Dean Winchester.  
When you enter the bunker, it’s quiet. It doesn’t phase Sam at all but it makes you wonder what Dean’s up to. You discretely disappear down the hall. You turn on your phone to text Dean but there’s already a message from him.  
**“Meet me in your bathroom.”**  
You stare at you phone for a minute wondering what was in store. Somewhat reluctantly, you go to your bathroom and open the door. Inside there’s an assortment of emergency candles flickering around the filled, steaming tub. On the floor next to the tub was a folded towel with a fresh bar of soap on top. Dean was leaning against the wall, waiting. You can’t help but smile and chuckle in spite of yourself.  
“Hey, I tried,” Dean says.  
“I know… That’s all that matters.”  
You close the door behind you and look around. He really had tried. You imagine there aren’t many things around the bunker to create a relaxing bath with but yet Dean had put one together for you. This was a good start. The anger and sadness you’d felt earlier was starting to disintegrate. He isn’t forgiven just yet, though you’re more confident that he was going to make things right.  
“So uh… You can get in if you want,” He tells you.  
Looking at him, you peel off your clothes and drop them in a heap on the floor. The water is perfectly steamy and feels amazing. You sink down in it and stretch out your legs, closing your eyes. For a moment you forget that Dean’s in the room with you. You open your eyes again and see that he’s staring at you, not knowing what he should do or say.  
“Look, Dean, what happened earlier was completely out of line. In all my life I’ve never been talked to like that.”  
He sighs, “I know… And I really am sorry. I just… Even though you were kidding when you were flirting with my brother, it didn’t feel like that to me. It made me crazy. I know I shouldn’t have done what I did, you didn’t deserve that.”  
“I can understand that! You just over reacted. A lot. I can’t help but forgive you because I care about you so much. But Dean, if you ever threaten me again, I swear to God… I will leave and you will never hear from me again. Got it?”  
Dean kneels next to the tub, “Sweetheart, I promise that I’m never going to do this ever again. You have every right to leave if you ever feel threatened by me again, but I promise you that I’ll never do something like that again.”  
You let him kiss your hand before you lace your fingers through his hair and really kiss him. Pulling him closer, you almost drag him into the tub with you. He pulls away for a second, pulling off his shirt and taking you in his arms.  
“You’re not done making it up to me, are you?” You ask, innocently.  
“No baby, of course not.”  
He lets you settle back down in your bath and grabs something off of the sink behind him.  
“I couldn’t do much, but I did run out and get you this.”  
Dean hands you a bottle of drugstore bubble bath and you laugh. He really had tried to make this as nice as he could. You spin the cap off the bottle and dump a little bit into the tub with you. The two of you put your hands in the water and mix up the soap. Soon bubbles start to form and the bathroom smells like flowers. Dean jokingly coughs and covers his face.  
“It’s so girly, I actually might die.”  
You blow some bubbles at him, “You know you love it!”  
“That’s not what I love…”  
You’re quiet for a moment as you look into his eyes. You still haven’t told him you love him. It’s killing both of you.  
“Y/N I really care about you. It’s driving me crazy.”  
You grin at him, “This doesn’t change our little game. I care about you too but this is just too much fun. I want to ride it out, see who cracks first. Come on Dean, play with me.”  
Dean grunts, closing his eyes and biting his lip, “Why do you have to say things like that? You really want to win don’t you?” He smiles at you, “Fine, we’ll keep playing our game,” he puts his face close to yours, “But I’m going to warn you, you’re in for the ride of your life, kid.”  
You take his chin in your hands, “Don’t you threaten me with a good time.”  
He kisses you hard and grabs you by the hips. Every bone in your body wants Dean. You want to be with him, you want to sleep with him… You just want him in every way.  
Somewhere in the bunker Sam is calling for Dean who lets go of you again and reaches for his shirt.  
“Don’t go! Get in here with me!” You plead.  
“I can’t baby, part of the fun is keeping it all from Sammy!”  
He winks at you and you frown as he opens the door and slides out. When he’s gone, you lean back in the tub and relax. You have to think of ways to torture and tease that boy. One way or another, you’re going to get him. You have to, you need him. A few months ago you had a crush on Dean and now you’re full blown in love with him and there’s nothing you can do about it. You’re okay with it. Being involved with Dean was probably the most fun you’ve ever had. Again, you couldn’t wait to tell him you loved him. It would be one of the happiest moments of your life.


	6. Night Prowler

The bunker is empty and you’re alone in the kitchen looking for a snack. The boys were out on a hunt and you had opted to stay behind and hold down the fort. To your sadness, the cabinets are empty. You’re stuffing your face with slightly stale chips when you hear something hit the floor down the hall. You stop dead in your tracks and slowly put down the chip bag. Tucked up in the leg of your jeans there’s a blade as long as your forearm. You reach down as quietly as possible and pull it out. You have a gun that Sam had given to you, but it’s in your room, passed where the noise had come from. Your phone’s in your bedside table next to your gun so you’re entirely alone in this.  
The sounds of drawers opening and closing echo off the bunker walls. “How had someone gotten into the bunker?” You wonder to yourself. Blood rushes through your ears and your heart races. This has never happened to you before; you’ve never been alone dealing with an intruder before. The fear that you’d have to fight or kill someone floods your mind as you creep around the corner. The intruder doesn’t know you’re here judging by how much noise they’re making. It sounds like they’re in Dean’s room. What are they looking for? You’re about to find out.  
Moving slowly hugging the wall, you make your way to Dean’s room. The door’s open a crack and you can see the shadow of the unwanted guest, cast by the lamp Dean has next to his bed. You count down in your head, three… Two… One…! And kick open the door, pointing your knife into the room. Seeing who’s standing in the room, you drop your blade.  
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”  
“I’m sorry… I thought I was alone,” A familiar voice says.  
You flick on the overhead light so that you can better see your guest. It was Castiel, the friendly angel. The two of you stand observing each other for a moment.  
“Hey, Cas… What are you doing here?” You ask, trying to compose yourself.  
You’ve only actually met Cas about two or three times and it still startled you that he could just show up like this unexpectedly. The first time he’d done it you’d been in the library reading Dean’s record collection and he’d popped in. You didn’t know about angels then and the boys had had to sit you down and explain their existence to you. Ever since then you’ve considered Cas a friend, even if he startled you just a little bit.  
“Y/N… Hello. Where are Dean and Sam?” He cocks his head at you.  
“Uh, on their way downstate I think, near the boarder of Oklahoma, why? What do you need?”  
Castiel struggles to come up with an answer for you, “I just need to talk to Dean about something.”  
This is weird to you. Glancing at Dean’s open dresser drawers, you decide to try and make Cas tell you.  
“Look, I’m part of this family now, you can tell me what you need, I can help. You can trust me, Cas, the boys do. Hell, they trusted me enough to take me in, to tell me about you. Would they do that if I weren’t to be trusted?”  “I’m sorry, Y/N. You wouldn’t understand. I know you’re trustworthy. But this is bigger than you. I’ll go find Sam and Dean myself.”  
“Wait a minute. Can you… Tell the boys to be careful? Tell Dean to be careful,” You ask him, softly.  
“Y/N are you and Dean… Are you together?”  
“Something like that. I couldn’t help it, it just kind of happened. I’m sorry if it’s wrong or something, I just-“  
“No,” Cas interrupts, “It’s good. Dean needs someone. He always has. Things are rough for him, he needs someone by his side. Someone besides Sam.”  
“Thanks, Cas. The world’s been rough on all of us. Even you, so I’ve heard.”  
He nods, “Doing God’s work is never easy. But these last few years have been particularly trying. The apocalypse has that effect on things.”  
You chuckle and give Cas an understanding smile, “Well, in my opinion, you’ve all done a great job holding it all together. It’s more than a lot of other people and well… Angels could do. I respect you guys a lot.”  
“There are things we all could have done better but thank you. I better go. I have to talk to the Winchesters.”  
Without another word, he was gone. Cas’ disappearing act is just as unsettling as his random appearances. He was strange, but that was probably because he wasn’t human. You like him anyway. There’s no reason not to like him. As far as you know he’s a good guy. Angel. Whatever. In the grand scheme of good and evil, Cas was good. He had scared the hell out of you tonight but he was good.  
You go back to the kitchen and your stale chips, tucking your knife back in your jeans. Being alone in the bunker is different than being alone in other places. When you were alone in a motel room while your parents were on a hunt, there was still people around. Out here there’s nothing - you’re an all new kind of alone. Part of you wishes Cas had stayed. He was obviously on a mission and an urgent one at that. You still wonder what he’d been searching for in Dean’s room. You’re probably going to find out sooner or later. Until then, you were bored out of your mind. Sam and Dean won’t be back until tomorrow. They’d left not long after Sam had called for Dean earlier. They always move so fast. That’s how they get the job done. Usually, they’re in and out before anyone notices they were ever there. That’s how it is being a hunter. You’re like a shadow, a life-saving shadow. A night prowler, working under the veil of darkness. It’s a wonder more hunters don’t go crazy and kill themselves.  
You and your family hadn’t been in it as deep as Sam and Dean are. Just the occasional vampire hunt or your typical haunting. Just easy stuff that could be taken care of in a few days or so. There was never any of this angel versus demon crap. Before that last hunt with your mom, you’d never seen an honest-to-God demon, even through the apocalypse. Your parents hadn’t started hunting for revenge like most people had. They’d started when they discovered their neighbor was a dangerous werewolf who’d killed his wife. They’d started hunting to save people, it was that simple. Eventually they devoted their lives to it, not out of obligation, but because they found it fun. It was sport, just like normal hunting, only much better. Someone who’s never chopped off a vamp’s head wouldn’t understand that. You’re not sure you quite understand it after seeing what the Winchester’s deal with. Either way, it had been devastating having both your parents killed by evil. It brought home the reality of the lifestyle. Suddenly you’re not sure if you want to stay here with Dean and Sam. You have the chance to get out, to quit hunting forever. You aren’t like the boys; you aren’t tied into this by some higher power. But what could you do? It’s way to late to go to school. You have no other skills or experience. The only thing you know how to do is hunt and help Sam with “homework”. You’d just have to keep going.  
You decide to get out of your own head and turn on some music. So you set up your Bluetooth speaker and turn on some Guns N’ Roses, dancing around just like good old times. You’d never been able to really have friends with the hunting lifestyle so music was always the thing that kept you company. It had always been there for you. For some reason GN’R has always meant more to you than all the rest. “Estranged”, “Don’t Cry”, “November Rain”… They get to you. Dean understands your love for music. That’s part of why you connected with him in the first place. He just gets it.  
You’re dancing around in the hallway when you hear your phone go off in your room. Grabbing it out of your drawer, you see Dean’s name on your screen. It makes your heart jump a little with happiness.  
**“I miss you, wish you’d come along.”**  
Your thumbs fly, **“I miss you too baby. I’m dying for you.”**  
**“How bad ;).”**  
“Cheeky bastard,” You mumble and snap a picture of your butt in the mirror, sending it to Dean with the caption, **“This bad.”**  
**“You wait till I get to the motel tonight.”**  
**“You’re on, loverboy!”**  
**“Ew, I hate Loverboy.”**  
You roll your eyes and sift through your drawers looking for what’s left of your lingerie collection. It had shrunk over the years on the road. Now that you were with Dean you’d have to invest in some more pieces. You want to impress Dean, the man who’s seen it all. What would get him going? French maid? Cheerleader? Or maybe some bondage? You’d have to try it all. You pull out everything you’ve got and lay it on your bed. Axl Rose’s voice belts out “Rocket Queen” in the background.  
“Here I am, and you’re a rocket queen/ I might be a little young, but honey I’m not naive!” You sing along, smirking to yourself. You’d start with the cheerleader and work your way into the heavier stuff like ropes and handcuffs. It was going to be fun finding out what he was into. You already know he has a thing for dominance but you wonder how he would hold up being submissive. Finding out what makes him tick was going to be way too much fun. This is the fun part about being with someone new, you got to explore their desires.  
Time passes slow as you wait for Dean to be done with the hunt and back at the hotel. Finally he texts you around ten to say they’d been quicker than they thought and would be home in about four hours. You were just going to have to show him all your costumes in person. He wouldn’t be back until two but maybe he wouldn’t be too tired. You were hoping that tonight would be the night you’d break him. You wanted him so bad, you could feel it building inside you. You had to let it out. The longer the two of you held out on each other, the crazier you went. It was starting to effect your focus. All you could think about sometimes was Dean’s perfect, muscular body. The lines on his chest and stomach, his bowlegs… It was all so perfect to you. The way his brilliant green eyes shine in the light, seemingly piercing through to your soul drove you almost as crazy. But it isn’t just his physical traits that you love, it was his personality traits too. Rather or not Sammy wanted to admit it, Dean’s hilarious. His love of classic rock is almost stronger than your own and you love the way he gets into his favorite songs. The way Dean loves his brother and Castiel is something you admire greatly about him and another thing you find attractive. He’s that so-called “bad boy” who was actually really emotional and sweet when you broke his wall down.  
There’s no real way to describe the enigma that is Dean Winchester. He’s simple and yet so complicated. He’s been through literal Hell and Heaven. The man’s seen everything there is to see. His loves are his car, good burgers, and classic rock and his mind is a complicated mess. Dean makes you want to solve all the puzzles in his head. You want to know what makes him tick, what makes him happy, what makes him mad… You want to know everything. Your love for him swells inside you as you think about his beautiful smile. You want to be the one to make him smile like that. It seems impossible that a man like this could smile with all the evil he’s experienced, but yet he does. It wasn’t a common thing but he still managed to give that brilliant grin every now and then.  
Suddenly, you want to think of a list of ways to make Dean smile. You want him to be happier than he ever has before. Maybe tomorrow he’d let you take the Impala and go into town. You could pick him up some things, maybe some records or something. You could make him a homemade burger that would blow his mind. Maybe you’d put on one of your sexy little outfits for him. You can think of half a dozen ways to make Dean happy right off the bat. One of those ways was telling him how much you love him. At this point you don’t even want to hold it back anymore, you’re just too stubborn to let Dean win this little contest. You just have to tease him enough to get him to break before you did. 

~.~.~.~.~

You’re running through a dark forest alone and confused. The sound of howling and barking seems to surround you. Up ahead of you, Dean’s running, looking back occasionally to see if you’re still following him.  
“C’mon baby, just a little faster! We can outrun them!”  
The pain in your chest is growing and it’s hard to breathe. Even though you can’t see them, you know the hellhounds were closing in on you. Dean’s desperately reaching back for you, trying to get you to keep up. His legs are just too long and you’re too out of shape. Your leg catches on something and you hit the ground hard.  
“NO!!” You scream.  
Dean stops and turns on a dime, grabbing your hands. You’re tangled in some thick tree roots that feel like they’re clinging to you. He pulls you harder and harder but you’re too stuck. The growling gets closer and Dean’s eyes grow wide with fear. There’s warm breath on your leg. The hellhound is right behind you now. Piercing pain shoots up your thigh.  
“Dean!! Help!!! Please!!”  
Rocks scrap your body as the monstrous dog drags you out of Deans grip. Tears blur your vision as you scream.  
“Dean!!!”  
“Y/N!!!! No!!! Y/N!!!”  
The forest disappears and you’re being shaken.  
“Y/N… Y/N wake up!”  
You sit up straight in bed. The real world forms around you. You’re not in the woods anymore, you’re in your room safe in the bunker. Sam was standing over you with a hand on your shoulder.  
“You okay there, kid?”  
“Yeah, yeah… What time is it?”  
“About two in the morning. Dean and I just got home. Your door was open and you were yelling in your sleep. Sorry for barging in here.”  
You shake off sleep, rubbing your eyes, “No, thank you. I was dreaming about… Hellhounds.”  
“We all know what that’s like,” Sam says as he pats your arm.  
Laughing, you reply, “Now that’s something you don’t hear every day.”  
He nods and walks to the door, “I know. Well, I’m glad you’re okay.”  
‘Thanks, Sammy.”  
“Anytime.”  
After Sam leaves, you get up and stretch. Dean’s bedroom light is on and you can see him moving inside. You hear him mumbling something about how intrusive angels are while he opens all his dresser drawers. You open your own drawers and pull out a black corset with matching underwear. It was time to surprise Dean. You slip out of your clothes and into the ensemble. Your robe is hanging on a chair and you throw that on over everything. Tonight is going to be the night that you crack Dean Winchester.


	7. Housekeeping

All the lights in the bunker are off except Dean’s. The soft glow invites you into his room. You pull your bathrobe tighter around yourself and cross the hall, looking both ways first like you’re crossing the street. You peek your head through Dean’s partly open door and knock gently.

“Hey Dean, can I come in?”

He looks up and smiles softly at you, “Of course! Make yourself comfortable,” He pats the mattress next to him. 

You step into the room and Dean looks you up and down. 

“Wow…”

Using your foot, you close the door behind you and look up shyly at him.

“What… What are you wearing?” He asks, regarding your fishnet stockings.

“I thought I’d throw on something nice to say goodnight to you in.”

He runs his hand through his hair, “Well I was thinking about going to sleep but now I think I have to reconsider.”

Dean stands up and you move toward him. His hands move to your waist and yours clasp behind his neck. He kisses your forehead while you start running your hands down his back.

“You worked hard today, I wanted to give you a good night. I found this little number in the back of my drawer,” You quickly undo your robe and drop it to the floor around your high-heeled shoes.

“My God! You are unbelievable.”

After some deliberation, you had decided on your French maid costume. It was more lingerie than it was costume but that’s how it was supposed to be. The skirt barely covered your butt and the top made your boobs pop out in the best way. It left Dean speechless, as you intended. At your hip, you have a feather duster tucked into your garter belt which you slip out.

“May I clean your room, sir?” You ask Dean sweetly.

For a moment, he just stares at you in awe, but after a moment a sly grin slides across his face and he nods.

“This place is always a mess, I could use the help. I had no idea my brother hired such a beautiful girl to do such… Dirty work.”

You strut over to his bookshelf and start dusting around his belongings, “I’m here to take care of all of your needs, sir.”

You can hear Dean swallow hard and you smirk to yourself. He comes up close behind you and looks over your shoulder, “I hear you do a lot of good work, and not just with the cleaning. They say you have other areas of expertise.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, mister,” You continue to dust, acting innocent and coy.

“Oh, I think you do,” Dean presses himself against your backside. 

You can feel that he’s already excited and you were just getting started. You arch your back slightly, tipping your head back.

“Alright fine. I used to provide a series of special services, but I stopped doing that years ago.

He grabs a handful of your hair, “Do you think you could make an exception for a man in desperate need of special attention?”

You look back at him, pretending to consider, “Maybe you could convince me…”

Without saying a word, Dean picks you up and carries you bridal-style to the bed and throws you down on it. He crawls on top of you, gripping your sides and hips. You open your legs as Dean sinks down on top of you. Kissing your neck he whispers, “By the time I’m done with you, you’re going to be begging me, telling me you love me.”  

You drag your nails down and then up his back, pulling his shirt up when you reach the hem. In seconds, it’s tossed to the side where you hope the rest of his clothes will be soon. The way he’s looking at you is driving you crazy. All you want is him. You practically slam your lips on his and he grips the back of your head. The two of you are desperate for each other and you both know it. It’s just a race to see who will give up first. 

Dean slides a hand under neither you, grabbing a handful of your ass. After you wrap your legs around him, he pulls the two of you so that you’re both sitting up facing each other. His hands are on your back pulling you close to him. You start to get daring, nibbling his lip, letting your hands wander down his chest and stomach. His skin feels so good on your fingers and you want more. You crave more. You’re going to get more. For a moment, you stop kissing Dean.

“You think I’m finished with you?” He asks gruffly.

“No, I just have another idea,” You say, getting to your feet.

Out of the top of your outfit, you pull out a small length of rope. Dean eyes it with a glint in his eye.

“What? I’m going to tie my new maid up?”

You bite the corner of your lip, “No sir, I’m going to tie you up.”

His eyes get wide with a mixture of curiosity and surprise, as though you’ve discovered a secret weakness of his. He opens his mouth but no words come out.

“See Mr. Winchester, you seem to me like the kind of guy who’s used to being in charge and having women throw themselves into submission for you. I want to see how the big strong Dean Winchester performs as the submissive one.”

The rope dangles from your hand teasing him. You take a step towards Dean and he looks up at you in wonder, “My God, you are something.”

“Shh, Mr. Winchester. Put your hands behind your back,” You press a finger to his full lips. 

Staring at you, he obeys. You tie his hands there tight like a hunter. You didn’t want him getting loose for that would ruin your game. The tension in the room is heavy and your heart beats wildly in your chest. “I’m going to win,” You think. You lean over and bite his neck softly making a shiver run through him. Dean is already enjoying this. This is the moment of your dreams. You have Dean Winchester under your thumb which is all you’ve wished for the past few months. Every night you imagined you’d get this opportunity and here it is. You cannot waste this. 

Backing away from your helpless partner, you smile. Dean’s phone is on his bedside table and you grab it, sliding it open. His music is full of driving classic rock songs and epic hair metal ballads. Music was more than required for this occasion. So you pick Def Leppard’s “Animal” and turn it up. 

Turning back to Dean he asks, “What are you going to do to me?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” You grab his chin a little rougher than usual. 

You can see the lump in his jeans growing. It was working. You back up again, swaying to the music and casually unclipping your stockings. You feel like a burlesque dancer, like Dita von Teese. Your garter belt is on the floor soon and you pick it up and toss it in Dean’s general direction. He swallows hard, meeting your eyes just barely. It feels powerful to have his attention completely on you. 

“How do you feel, Mr. Winchester?”

He breathes deeply, lust in his eyes, “I feel… Awesome.”

You continue your dance, starting to loosen the top of your French maid costume. You let it slip down, but not enough to show your nipples. Turning around, you bend over far and put your hands on the wall in front of you, spreading your legs. Dean makes a slight moaning noise deep in his throat. Finally, you pull the top down all the way exposing your chest. Dean is visibly turned on and it's turning you on as well. You get your kicks from making him crazy.

Moving toward Dean, you tug up the hem of your skirt so that he can just see the matching underwear you have on underneath. The song plays on, nearing the end. 

“You are killing me, mademoiselle,” He groans. 

“I don’t want to kill you, just torture you till your breaking point, sir.”

Again you lean in and bite his neck. You straddle him, rubbing against his bulge, and letting the smooth skin of your chest glide across his face. When he tries to take your nipple in his mouth, you give him a light smack on the jaw. It’s not enough to actually hurt him, more to just reprimand him for being bold and trying to take charge.

“Uh uh, mister, not yet. Not until I say you can move.”

Standing back up, you start to pull your skirt down, swaying your hips to the new song that’s come on. AC/DC, “The Jack”. It’s always been the song you deemed your “stripper song”. The rhythm is perfect and it’s chocked full of innuendoes. Dean appreciates it as much as you do. He struggles against his bonds, dying to throw you down. His jaw clenches and his muscles are strained, desperately trying to break free. You don’t help him. All you do is pull your outfit off and toss it to the side. All that’s left is your black underwear, fishnet stockings, and your shiny black heels.

“This isn’t fair, here I am half naked and you still have your jeans on!” You say to Dean.

“Well, maybe you should help me out of them.”

“That’s a brilliant idea, Mr. Winchester! You’re so smart, sir!”

Letting your boobs hang in his face, you reach down and undo Dean’s belt and the fly of his jeans before carefully pulling them off. He’s free and now you can see how hard he is. You let yourself look down and then back up to look him in the eyes. There’s something animalistic in them, something wanting and desperate. Kissing the end of his nose, you kick off your heels and go back to business. You pull over the chair Dean has in his room and sit down gracefully. You pull your leg up like a pinup girl and carefully roll down your stocking. Pulling it off, you let it catch on your toes so that when you let go it shoots like a rubber band in Dean’s direction. You do the same for the other leg. You’re down to just your black, lace trimmed thong. Legs apart, you stand tall in front of Dean.

He looks you up and down, breathing heavy, “Y/N… Please let me go. Please untie me, I’m begging you.”

“Mmmm, I’m sorry love, I just don’t think I can do that.”

“Fine, have it your way.”

Before you even blink, Dean’s in front of you, wrapping his big arms around you, rope thrown to the side. You have no idea how he got himself out but you don’t care. He spins you and backs you into the bed. You fall into it, landing flat on your back. Dean rips your underwear into a lace shred and pulls your legs apart. He smiles slyly.

“It looks like you want this as bad as I do… I like that.”

He reaches between your legs, feeling your soft pink lips. Your breath catches in your throat. The two of you hold each other’s gaze intensely. 

“You really thought you could win, didn’t you?”  

“I still can.”

“You’re going to give in, I promise.”

Dean spreads your legs further and kisses up your thigh. He moves to the insides of your thighs and plants wet kisses all over them. You lean your head back and let yourself enjoy the feeling of Dean’s mouth on your skin. 

“Fuck…”

“Just give in, Y/N. Just say you love me and let me take you. I can make your wildest fantasies come true.”

You struggle to say it but you manage, “No.”

He pulls off his own underwear, crawling on top of you like he did before. You practically quiver with anticipation. The two of you are still locked in this standoff, both of you too stubborn to give in.

“Take me.”

“Say you love me.”  

“Have sex with me and I will.”

He teases you with the tip of his cock.

“Tell me you love me. Now.”

He pushes it in just a little bit more. Both of your faces are red and hot. At once, you both give up.

“I love you!” You gasp as Dean pushes all the way inside of you.

“Oh. My. God.”


	8. As Long As I'm Kicking

For a single, breathless moment, the two of you are just staring at each other in shock. Dean in shock that you actually said you love him and you in shock of how good it feel. He bends his head down and kisses your forehead.

“Can you say it again?”

“Dean Winchester, I love you. I love you and I’ve been trying to hide it for some time now. I can’t take it anymore. I love you, more than anything else.”

Dean pulls out and pushes back in with slow, loving strokes. In his eyes, there’s no longer lust. This time, there’s love, the love that you’ve been waiting not so patiently for the past few days. You lean your head back, enjoying the unbelievable feeling Dean’s giving you. 

“I love you, Y/N. I was scared of it at first but now I’m not scared anymore.”

You pull him closer to you, planting your lips on his. This is better than you could have ever imagined it. 

“Mmmm, Deeeean…” You moan softly. 

“I know, baby… I know,” He bites his lip.

It goes on like this for a while, soft and loving. Dean even lets you on top and rock your hips back and forth. It gets more intense. Dean picks you up, lifting you up and down. You grip his shoulders, holding on for dear life. The feeling running up through your body is like an itch that he’s scratching, but not quite hard or fast enough. Dean can sense your growing desperation.

“What do you want me to do to you, sweetheart?”

You’re almost embarrassed to ask him.

“Can you… Bend me over the bed? It’ll get me there faster than anything else.”

He puts you down gently and wraps his arms around you tight, “I will do anything you want me to. There are few things I’ll say no to when it comes to you. I wanna make all of your terrible, dirty dreams come true.”

When Dean lets you go, you move to the edge of the bed and he gently pushes your back down. You grip the sheets when Dean slips himself inside. He isn’t so gentle this time. Without even having to be asked, he goes harder and faster than before. You can already feel the intense pleasure building up inside of you. Dean holds your hips, moving you back and forth almost as much as he’s moving himself. 

“Fuck…” He mutters.

You’re starting to moan involuntarily. Sam’s asleep down the hall but that doesn’t seem to matter to either of you. At this point, the headboard is starting to hit the wall. You both ignore it as Dean works at bringing you both to orgasm. It’s not easy, but you have complete faith in Dean. It’s been a while for you and you’d wanted Dean for so long, you were surprised you hadn’t reached your tipping point already.

The two of you are calling each other’s names. You grip the sheets tighter and bit your lip.

“Dean!!!”

“Come on baby, you can do it. Scream for me, honey,” he commands.

You’re so close to the edge and so is Dean. He’s stroking your spot so perfectly you want to cry with pleasure. A couple more pumps and your eyes grow wide and you let out a scream. What feels like a bolt of electricity surges through you and your knees almost buckle. There it is.

“Yesss, fuuuck…” Dean moans, “Now it’s my turn.”

He stops, grabbing you and pulling you so you’re facing him before pushing you down and climbing on top of you once again. Dean fucks you hard until he lets out a guttural moan that almost drives you to the edge of orgasm again. You both collapse into the mattress and crawl up under the blankets. For a moment, you're both silent.

Dean speaks first, “I can say with complete honesty that that was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

You look over at him, “I’m in complete agreement.”

“I love you. I really, really do.”

You lay your head on his chest, “I love you, Dean. I have to be the luckiest girl in the world.

There’s a loud banging on the door and the two of you jump.

“Dean?!” 

It’s Sam.

“Shit… Hold on!” Dean calls.

You wrap yourself in the sheets and Dean pulls on his boxers. He opens the door a crack to talk to Sam.

“Yeah?”

“What the hell are you doing? Did you let a girl in the bunker? We swore we’d never do that! You’re going to wake Y/N up, God what is wrong with you.”

Dean doesn’t say a word. He just backs away from the door a little and lets it open. Sam catches sight of you and his mouth drops. 

“What in holy hell… Oh my God.”

“There’s nothing holy about what just happened here,” Dean chuckles.

Sam flinches, “I did not need to know that. Alright, nevermind then, I’m going to go throw up," he puts a hand up to his mouth, "I feel like I just caught my sister and my brother having sex... I'm going back to bed. Goodnight. Try to keep it down, okay?”

“Night, Sammy!” You call. 

The taller brother sulks off rubbing his eyes. 

Dean closes and locks the door, laughing. 

“That poor kid. I put him through such crap,” Dean chuckles again, flopping on the bed.

You wrap your arms around him, “At least he has his own room now. I can imagine how terrible it would be to share a room with you.”

“Hey, you don’t seem to mind,” he squeezes you a little.

“Yeah but I also want to hear you moan at night, I doubt Sam does.” 

Dean kisses your neck softly and pulls you even closer. It’s got to be at least 3:30 by now and he’s starting to look worn out. You nestle your head into the crook of his neck and settle in. Your eyes are heavy and you’re really glad you get to spend the night with Dean again.

“You’re sure you love me?” Dean asks you sleepily.

“Yes. I’m sure. I love you, Dean.”

“One more thing, who won the game?”

“I’m willing to call it a tie if you are. We kinda gave up at the same time.”

“Okay, deal. It was a really awesome tie.”

Before you can think of something else to say, you’re drifting off to sleep, being pulled by a soft, comfortable feeling. Usually, you like to dream during the night because dreams are better than everyday life, but tonight there’s no dream you could have that would be sweeter than being wrapped in Dean’s arms. And though you don’t know it yet, this is only the beginning of the things you two will do together. Dean is going to be yours for a long time. 

 

~.~.~.~.~

 

A couple of days later, you’re sitting in the garage next to a vintage car. Dean’s legs are sticking out from under it and every once in a while he’ll slide out and grab a tool before ducking back under the metal beast. You know a bit about cars, but not enough to help him too much. You just like watching him do something he loves. He’s muttering to himself about car models and hard to find parts while you read up on something called a rugaru (it sounds made up but it’s not). You’ve got AC/DC’s Highway to Hell album playing through your speaker. Today, that’s the only music you and Dean can agree on but you’re okay with it. It’s one of your top twenty favorite albums and definitely one of Dean’s. The book you’re buried in is at least sixty years older than you, as most of the books that Sam gives you are. Suddenly, the fact that people have been hunting not only for the past hundred years but since the dawn of time occurs to you. If people have been killing monsters since the beginning of time, how was there anything left to kill?

You nudge Dean’s leg carefully with your foot, “Babe, can I ask you a random question?”

You hear him respond with a muffled, “Of course.”

“How many monsters do you think you’ve killed since you started hunting?”

He slides out from under the car, giving you a curious look, “God… Probably hundreds including demons and ghosts. Why?”

“I don’t know I was just thinking, you and Sam kill something evil at least once a twice a week right? Sometimes more, sometimes less. So let's say you guys kill something every three days. That’s around 120 monsters a year. you’ve been doing this forever with your dad so you’ve probably helped get rid of a thousand or more evil things, right?”

Dean nods, “Yeah you’re probably right, go on.”

“Well, there are tons of other hunters all across the world who do the same thing as you guys. Even if they killed half of what you do, that’s still hundreds of monsters and demons and ghosts being put to rest every day. How in hell is there any left?”

Dean wipes his hands off on a grease rag and scratches his head, “Well… For starters, Sam and I accidentally let the gates of Hell open… And brought on the apocalypse. And more and more demons get top-side every day. Then there're monsters that reproduce, both knowingly and unknowingly. You know, vamps recruiting new ‘family members’, monsters who don’t know what they are and give their genes to their kids… That kind of stuff. We really can’t kill this crap fast enough.”

“When does it end?”

“In my experience, it doesn’t. It seems like there’s always gonna be evil sons-a-bitches. It keeps us in business,” Dean chuckles.

You shake your head, “But why? How did it come to be like this? There're so many people trying to do good, trying to make things right… What did we do to deserve this? Why did this happen to the world? Because of Lucifer’s unbridled hatred for mankind? Because God’s MIA and the angels can’t get a damn grip? What? And how did we get mixed up in this? Why did our parents have to die? I just… It’s not fair.”

Dean sits there looking at you for a moment. He grins slightly and puts his hand out to you. You slip your fingers through his and wait for an answer.

“Kid, you’re asking the same questions I asked myself a few years back when we met Cas. Imagine, after all the bad I’ve seen, after all the prayers I’ve watched go unanswered, meeting an angel of the Lord. I thought it was bull. I didn’t believe any of it. Hell, I still wonder sometimes. I don’t have an answer for you, I’m sorry. But you’ve got to believe that there’s still so much good in the world. There’s more to life than demons and blood. Keep your chin up and always keep fighting,” he squeezes your hand.

“How can you say that after all you’ve been through, after you’ve seen so many people die, people you love, people you’ve tried to save… How do you manage to find good?” You ask him. 

“Well…” Dean moves closer to you, “I still got Sammy. I still got Cas. And somehow, I got a girl like you to literally beg to stay here with us. That’s good. Everything around us is good, these cars, the bunker, all good. That and the fact that cheeseburgers and Zeppelin IV exist, that’s all good.”

“Zeppelin IV is great, even though John Bonham is dead…”

“Hey! We do not just talk about Bonzie like that!”

You laugh and Dean puts and arm around you, “But seriously, I know what it’s like to lose your parents Y/N, and that can do crap to a person. Doing what we do makes you doubt everything, I know. But trust me, everything is going to be okay. I would walk through Hell again for you and Sammy. I got you, Y/N, I got you. For as long as I’m kickin’.”

You lean your head on his shoulder, “Dean Winchester, did you just promise me the rest of your life?”

“I guess I did,” he confirms softly.

Nestling your head in his shirt you tell him, “I got you too Dean, as long as I’m kickin’.”

For a minute, the two of you just sit there, Dean’s arms around you. You get lost in your own thoughts. The life of a hunter isn’t an easy one but Dean’s right; he and Sam and Cas made it worth it. You think of where you’d be if you hadn’t been raised as a hunter. The chances you would be even this well off were slim. Sam is the best big brother figure you could ask for and having an angel on your side is a comforting thing. And of course, there’s Dean and your ever budding romance. No, fighting evil isn’t fun or easy, but it’s worth it. It’s worth it because of the people you do manage to save and the ones you meet. And besides that, you’re in too deep. There’s no going back to normalcy now, so you’re going to enjoy what you’ve got.


	9. You Ain't the First

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is so short. I haven't had time to write because of finals and stuff but I wanted to get something out for everyone! I've got tons of ideas in the works though!.

Soon, Dean goes back to work on the car and you go back to reading. Even though you’re a hunter, you haven’t encountered as many supernatural creatures as Dean and Sam have. That’s why Sam every once in a while will hand you an old book and tell you to read up. What started out as a temporary position was turning into a long-term place on their team. You never imagined that the boys would keep you around even this long, but then again, you never imagined you’d want to stick around. Sure, Dean had something to do with it but you hadn’t thought you’d be able to stand living in the bunker. At first, you’d thought it was a bit dim and being basically underground made you a little claustrophobic, but now you realize it’s pretty luxurious. It’s old, but not like an abandoned building, in a vintage sense. It’s classic like the Impala and the brothers seem to fit there. You’re starting to feel like you fit there too. 

Things have been pretty calm the past few days. You and Dean had had to sit down and tell Sam that you were a thing, hoping that it would make the image of you in Dean’s bed a little less scarring for him. You know that eventually Sam will come around and be happy for the two of you because that’s how Sam is. He makes you wish that you had had a brother growing up. Sometimes he’s a little dorky or annoying about certain things, but he’s always there for you and wants to make sure no one’s bothering you or making you upset. On the other hand, Dean changed your mind about men, including himself. You hadn’t dated a ton of guys but that was partly because being a hunter and a teenager was hard. The other reason you hadn’t dated a ton of guys was because the ones you had been with were underwhelming. Your first boyfriend had decided it was okay to smack you across the face when you didn’t want to have sex with him. You remember the look of shock and fear in his eyes when he found a shotgun in his face the next morning. Something similar happened with the guy who came after him too. The last guy you’d dated had lasted a little while when your mom and you had stayed in one town for a whole year. It was Salam, Massachusetts and there was a significant number of ghosts and witches, real and fake. The two of you got a crappy apartment there. You got your first and only real job in Salam. There’d been a witch-themed pub there that tourists swarmed in the autumn months that always seemed to need a waitress or two. You can’t recall just how many cauldrons full of steaming soup you’d served there, but you assume the number is up in the hundreds. 

The bartender there, Jake, had started to take notice of you and before you knew it you were dating him. He wasn’t like the other guys you’d met or dated. Jake wasn’t perfect but you may have started to love him if he hadn’t gotten sacrificed by a witch you and your mom were hunting. That had broken your heart, but you being the strong women you are, you got over it in a few months. Even with how nice Jake had been to you, Dean was far superior. Not only was he the most attractive man in the world, but he was also the sweetest once you broke his rough shell. The past few days he’d treated you like a queen. Every time he went to the store for something, he came back with something cute for you. The first day he brought you home a bouquet of flowers, the next he brought you a box of chocolate chip cookies. This morning he gave you a cheesy stuffed bear holding a heart. When he gave you the bear you’d laughed so hard you almost peed yourself. It was really sweet of him but uncharacteristic for both of you. You usually weren’t the stuffed animal kind of girl but the fact that Dean got you one was really sweet and warmed your heart. 

Now as you sit in the garage with him, you look up occasionally to watch him work. He loves working on the old cars and vehicles in the bunker and there’s nothing you love more than observing him doing so. It’s sexy, kind of “manly”, and fascinating to someone who didn’t know much about cars. Being a hunter was a kind of masculine thing and you yourself had often been called butch because of it. You can do a lot of things that don’t fit the usual gender roles. Fuck gender roles; you can shoot better than any guy you know besides the Winchesters, fight harder, and track better than them too, so general those kinds of qualities are unimpressive to you. That’s why, anything Dean can do well like working on cars is just so attractive to you. You love to see him covered in grease and sweat. It made it hard to focus on the lore you were supposed to be learning about. 

For Sammy’s sake and for the sake of the team, you decide to take your reading elsewhere. You nudge Dean’s leg again, causing him to once again pull himself out from under neither the car. Without a word you kiss him hard and walk of toward the door. You can feel his eyes follow you so you add a little more sway to your step, making your hips swing just a little bit more than usual. The two of you hadn't had sex again yet since the first time and you could tell that Dean was starting to get on edge again. Maybe tonight you’d have to surprise him with something. Maybe.


	10. One of the Guys

“How the hell are we supposed to get this down the stairs?” Dean grumbles, pulling your new king-sized mattress off the bed of a “borrowed” truck. 

You jump down out of the cab and shrug, “Mmmmm, I don't know, push it?”

Sammy climbs up in the bed to push the mattress towards Dean, “We are absolutely not pushing it down the stairs. Dean and I got this, trust me.”

Dean smirks and flexes his muscles, “Because we’re strong!”

Sam pushes the mattress so it bumps Dean in the stomach, knocking him off balance.

“Hey!”

Sam laughs, “Sorry, it slipped,” this time Sam smirks and you laugh at their exchange. 

Last night you and Dean had been trying to lay in bed together, Dean flipping through a car magazine and you through Rolling Stone, but it just wasn’t comfortable. Dean’s bed was too small for you to both lay next to each other in unless you were on top of each other. Sometimes you just wanted to be in the same bed without crowding each other out. So, with some eye batting, and some back rubbing, you convinced Dean to get a new bed for the two of you. He didn’t really object; who doesn’t want a king-sized bed? Either way, a little persuasion never hurt. You grab a box containing your new bed frame and haul it off the truck. Dean and Sam are finagling the mattress through the bunker door and starting to get it down the stairs. You follow them in, slowly inching along. 

“Are you sure it wouldn’t be easier to just push it over the railing and let it fall to the floor?”

“It would be easier, but what if we break something?” Sam asks.

“Something being broken in the bunker? That’s unheard of,” Dean laughs at himself. 

You see Sam roll his eyes and continue to lift the mattress down the stairs. 

“I really appreciate the help Sam,” you tell the younger brother.

Dean almost drops the bed and Sam grunts trying to keep his balance on the metal staircase, “It’s no problem.”

You can’t help but laugh again at the two of them. This is one of the things the brother’s had never really done before. They lived in motel rooms most of their lives and had never had to really move in anywhere. Maybe Sam had done this at Stanford, maybe moved a couch in or something, but other than that, you can’t really imagine a time where the Winchesters would move furniture like this. They missed out on so many normal things and you often forget that.

“Hey, you guys are good at this! Maybe you should quit your day jobs and become Winchester and Winchester Moving Company!” You joke.

“I wouldn’t exactly call hunting a day job, would you Sammy?” You hear Dean groan from behind the mattress.

“No, not exactly.”

The brothers get your new bed down the last section of stairs and drop it on the floor with a big plop. Dean collapses on top of it in the middle of the floor and closes his eyes.

“Fuck it, we’re leaving it here,” he says.

Sam shakes his head and sits down in a chair, “No, I can’t have you two doing whatever it is you do at night out in the open. It’s bad enough when you do it behind closed doors.”

“Well, it can stay here while I put together the bed frame. Should only take me forty minutes or so,” you tell them, pushing the box you were carrying towards the hall.

“How did you manage to carry that, Y/N?” Dean asks, sitting up.

“You underestimate me.”

“Do you need help putting it together? Building stuff can be complicated,” Sam stands up.

“Oh really? And how would you know that college boy? Have you ever assembled anything but a devil’s trap?” You tease.

“I… I’ve… Built stuff…” Sam sits back down, dejected. 

“What about you, tough guy?” You look to Dean.

He glances at his feet and shakes his head.

“That’s what I thought. So thank you for bringing this in and if you need me, I’ll be in Dean’s room putting this together.”

The two of them watch you hoist the box up and bring it down the hall and deeper into the bunker. When you’d met Sam and Dean they’d pretty much treated you as an equal. You’re a hunter and most hunter women can more than hold their own. Sam and Dean know that and therefore hadn’t treated you like a little girl when you first ran into them. The longer you stay with them, the more they treat you like a girl instead of one of the guys. Part of you doesn’t mind. You like when Sam was a little protective of you and when Dean treats you like his girl, but the two of them implying that you can’t put a damn bed frame together…. You’ll show them. 

So you slowly make your way into the bedroom and put the box down. Within seconds, you flip out your pocket knife and slice open the edges of the cardboard. So far, so good. Sifting through the box, you find the instructions and pull them out. There are a lot of pieces to this thing and the paper lists them all. Once you make sure you have every last screw, you can start to put this thing together. You start grabbing pieces of metal and laying them down where they’re eventually going to be screwed in. The process is going quite smoothly. Later on, you’ll have to go get the headboard and foot board but you have to finish this first. Judging by the loud noises echoing off the bunker walls, the boys are bringing in the box-spring. 

You have half the frame together when Dean pokes his head in about ten minutes later. 

“How the hell…?”

“I’m pretty handy you know. I might not know anything about cars or anything with a motor, but I can do most of your basic, everyday handy-work.”

Dean sits on the floor next to you, “I guess I did underestimate you.”

“Yeah, unlike you, I lost my dad young instead of my mom. She was pretty good with most things but I learned how to do a lot of your normal stuff like fixing leaky sinks, changing tires…”

“Putting together furniture…”

“Exactly. I don’t know, I became the man of the house I guess.”

“Well, you don’t have to do that anymore. I’m your man now, and I’m going to take care of you,” he nuzzles your neck with his nose.

“You’re cute, but you don’t have to take care of me all the time. Sometimes you and Sam treat me like I’m helpless. I’m a hunter just like you guys, I can shoot and lift things and do things for myself. You’re here to take care of my emotional needs, just like I’m here for yours. Jut I can take care of myself. I don’t want to be alone, which is why I’m with you, but I don’t need everything done for me.”

Dean fixes you with a serious look, “We really don’t mean to treat you like you’re helpless, honestly. The two of are just used to protecting everyone. I did it with my mom and Sammy, I’m just used to it I guess. Trust me, we both know you ca hold your own, hell, you could probably kick both out asses. We just get carried away sometimes with being protectors. I’m sorry, baby,” he puts his arm around you.

“I love you, Dean. I need you. Just not for every little thing, you know? I don’t mean to be insulting.”

“I love you too, Y/N, and I understand. I get it. You like being independent. I know the feeling. I’ll talk to Sam and we’ll try to be better.”

“Thank you.”

“Hey, no need to thank us. It’s less work if we don’t have to take care of your ass too!”

“Shut up! You love my ass!”

“Mmmm, damn right I do…”

“Maybe tonight we can break in our new bed,” you nudge Dean with your elbow.

His eyes light up a little, “Oh you know I’d love that…”

“Good. Now leave me alone so I can get this done and we can bang tonight.”

Dean laughs and pulls himself off the floor, “Fine, I’m out of here!”

You go back to assembling the bed frame and in a little while, you’re done. It took half an hour, if not less. Sam and you drag in the headboard and the food board and the two of you put it all together with Dean’s help. Before you know it, the whole thing is together and you’re putting on the sheets. Dean hadn’t wanted anything to “girly” and you aren’t really into anything overly feminine anyway. You’d just picked out something nice, neutral, and easily washable. Even though he won’t come out and say it, Dean likes the new setup. You can tell from his face and the lack of sarcastic comments. Sam, who tends to like things similar to your taste, compliments your choice of a beige comforter and matching tan sheets. It’s very simple, not easily dirtied, and you wouldn’t have to worry about throwing it in the wash with anything else.

You’re glad that Sam’s so supportive of you and his brother. It’s not like he’d ever verbal express it if he wasn’t, but Sam’s all Dean has and you want him to be happy too. It hasn’t been long since the two of you had been walked in on but Sam shows his approval in many ways. One of those ways was helping the two of you get a new bed. You’ve all but moved out of your own room. All your clothes and what makeup and stuff like that you have are still in there in the interest of space, but all your other stuff is in Dean’s room. The two of you have a small collection of magazines and books. Your collaborative record collection is in the library in a couple milk crates. Dean’s convinced that was the only reason anyone even still has milk crates— for records. Over the past few days, you and Dean have been making a nice little space for the two of you. It’s the closest thing to getting your own apartment that you’d ever get. You’re moving fast as a couple but it doesn’t feel like that. You’ve spent months beforehand with the brothers, this is kind of the next step. 

“So, do you guys want dinner? We’ve got a big hunt tomorrow!” You remind the boys of the ruguru hunt.

Dean nods, “I’m always hungry.”

“Well, we could all go and sit down somewhere. I made a killing the other day at the pool table, I could treat us to something.”

“You don’t have to do that, Y/N,” Sam shakes his head.

“I’d love to, really,” you insist.

Deans already walking toward the door and calls over his shoulder, “C’mon Sammy! Don’t be a square!”

“What did you just call me?”

“I don’t know… Y/N says it…”

“Yeah Sam, don’t be square. I’ll get us dinner, let’s go!”

Hesitantly, Sam agrees and starts to follow Dean down the hall. You grab your bag with your wallet in it and close the bedroom door. Jogging a little, you catch up with Sam.

“Hey, thank you again for all your help,” you say once you’re beside him.

“Of course, it’s no problem. I’m always here to help!”

“Yeah but, if you weren’t happy about Dean and me, I wouldn’t expect you to.”

“Why wouldn’t I be? I told you a week ago in the library we went to that I thought he was into you. Honestly, he’s been less annoying with you around. And I like you! You’re like a sister that I never knew I wanted,” he laughs.

You let Sam pat your shoulder and you give him a one-armed hug as Dean turns around, waiting for you guys.

“Hey, what’s going on back there?” Dean asks jokingly.

“Don’t worry, I’m not trying to steal your girlfriend,” Sam promises. 

“Good,” Dean puts his arm around you and escorts you up the stairs. 

He puts his right hand on your hip and the left in his pocket. You pull open the bunker door and the three of you pile into the Impala, Dean driving, Sam taking shotgun, and you stretching out in the back. You never mind giving Sam shotgun because of how long he’s been traveling with Dean. He deserves it.

“So, I want a burger,” Dean proclaims.

“I’m shocked, really,” Sam says, his voice heavy with sarcasm. 

“Okay, well there's a restaurant and bar the next town over that I don’t think we’ve ever been to. Let’s go,” you pass your phone with an open GPS up to Sam so he can navigate. 

“Done!”

Dean pushes the pedal to the floor, kicking up the dirt. The long black car tears out of its parking spot, racing towards town. Sam holds on to the door, tight, and you just laugh with glee. You can’t help but feel like this is how things were supposed to be. If there is some divine plan, this has to be it. The three of you seem like you’re meant to be. You really hope that you're going to be a permanent fixture in the Winchesters’ lives. You love them, that’s abundantly clear to you. You’re happy with them, and you never want to be on your own again. They’re your family now. You’re an honorary Winchester, in their eyes and in your own. Things are finally starting to work out.


	11. Tyler the Waiter

The Impala pulls into a yellow-lined parking space in front of Mike’s Bar and Restaurant. It doesn’t look like anything special, but those were usually the kinds of places with the best food. The three of you pile out of the car and the shiny black car doors creak closed. Dean wraps his long arm around your waist and you lean your head into his shoulder. Sam strides in front of you and opens the door of the dive. Behind the doors is a large room with a circular bar lined with stools in the center. Waiters and waitresses bustle about with huge trays of food above their heads, their arms looking as though they could buckle at any second. It looks good to you. 

A pretty blond woman at the hostess stand greets you, “How many?”

Sam tells here just three and she guides you back into the chaotic mess of tables. You, Sam, and Dean slide into your chairs at a small round table and the hostess hands you large menus.   
“I’m excited already,” Dean cracks open his menu and flips directly to the section labeled “Burgers & Sliders”. 

You sift through the countless choices, looking for something that speaks to you. Well, speaks to your stomach at least. A giant, crispy chicken salad featured on one of the pages catches your fancy, but you keep looking in case something better comes along. 

“I’m feeling like chicken parm,” Sam folds his menu back up and sets it in front of him.

You nod, “Chicken does sound good!”

Not seeing anything else, you settle for the big salad. Dean appears to be debating about which of the dozen different burgers he wants to order. While he debates, a young guy, maybe a couple years younger than you, wearing a restaurant uniform comes to your table with a notepad. 

“Hi everyone, I’m Tyler and I’ll be your waiter tonight. The day’s specials are all right here on this flyer. I recommend the crispy chicken salad or the triple bacon burger,” Tyler points to a laminated paper on the table with pictures of assorted dishes. Next he picks up the drink menu, “We have a lot of yummy drinks, blood orange martini, all different margaritas… Lot’s of fruity stuff. Can I start you guys off with drinks?”

Dean’s face is wrinkled at the thought of fruity margaritas and whatever the hell a blood orange martini is. He looks up at the waiter, “I’ll have a bottle of whatever your house beer is.”  “Oh, okay, and for you sir?” He looks at Sam.

“Uh, I’ll have the same.”

“Okay, and for you honey?” Tyler smiles down at you.

Uncomfortable, you glance over at Dean, “Just water, please.”

“Okay, thanks guys! I’ll be right back with those!”

“I do not like him,” Dean says flatly.

Sam chuckles and looks over at him, “What, you don’t like martinis? ‘All kinds of fruity stuff’’ doesn’t appeal to you?”

“Shut up. And where does he get off calling Y/N, honey?”

You shake your head, “Oh Dean, he’s just working for tips. It made me uncomfortable but he’s just being nice.”

“Right,” Dean opens his menu again.

Sam shrugs at you and the two of you start to quietly discuss tomorrow’s hunt while waiting for Tyler to come back.

When he reappears with a drink tray topped with three glasses, you cease your chat about filleting some rugarus. The water passes out all the drinks and asks if you’re ready to order yet.

“I think we’re all set,” Sam tells him.

“Good! We’ll start with you.”

Sam orders his chicken and then Tyler moves on to Dean, who orders his bacon cheeseburger emotionlessly. Once again, the waiter flashes you with an overly-friendly smile when he gets to you.

“And what’ll you have, princess?”

For a moment, you just look at him, “Well, I’ll have the crispy chicken salad.”

“Perfect! I’ll take that for you,” he reaches down to take your menu, but not without brushing your arm.

Dean’s watching this exchange like a hawk. Sam notices too and raises has eyebrows. This is going to be a long meal. 

Tyler puts his hand on your shoulder, “I’ll put those orders right in for you all!”

When he disappears again, Dean clenches his jaw, “I swear to God… I’ll kill him.”

“We can ask for a new waiter. I’d like to eat one meal without bloodshed,” Sam offers. 

“I’ll give him one more chance.”

Dean’s protective side is one of your favorite things. The two things he really cares about are you and Sammy and you know he really would kill for the two of you. He stands up and moves his chair a few inches closer to yours to hopefully make it more obvious to your waiter that you were taken by the older brother. You put your hand on top of Dean’s and rub his thumb with yours. Things start to calm down again and Dean joins the conversation about the hunt you and Sam are planning. 

The three of you discuss what each of your roles will be. A week ago Dean had gotten a tip about a family of rugarus a few states over. You’ve never heard of a pack of them living together like that. The other hunter had been keeping Sam and Dean updated on their movements and habits. Tomorrow you’d all head out early and hopefully get the job done by nightfall. There were four creatures in all. They’d taken up residence in an abandoned house in a farm town. By the looks of it, they were still in the early stages of having turned and still slightly resemble humans. That would make it harder for you to justify killing them, but they’d already begun to feed on their neighbors. 

There was no doubt that the rugarus were dangerous and had to be taken care of. It just bothers you that there’s no way to reverse something like that. They had been human once and probably didn’t know what was happening to them when they changed into these… Things. It’s kind of sad really. Nonetheless, tomorrow you’d be helping take them down and that was that. 

The conversation switches to something more normal as more and more people start to bustle by your table. If someone were to catch a snippet of the conversation about hunting, the three of you could be carted off to jail. So Sam mentions the fact that he’s jealous that you and Dean got a new bed. Dean rolls his eyes but you bring up the possibility of redecorating Sam’s room.

“We could get you a new desk for your computer, maybe get rid of some of that Men of Letters, antique vibe,” you suggest.

Tyler arrives with your food and begins placing the dishes in front of their consumers-to-be.

“I’ve always like the idea of having my own workspace, you know? Kinda like in college,” Sam smiles, remembering.

“Yeah, well it’s going to take me a while to get used to our new comforter or whatever, so leave any more redecorating to a minimum please,” Dean says, still pretending he doesn’t like the new set up.

Your salad is put in front of you, Tyler’s skin brushing yours once again. He looks at Dean and Sam, “Oh did you two just move in together or something? Congratulations!”  

By the look on Dean’s face, you could tell Tyler’s last chance was just spent.

“Look it, Tyler, Sam and I are not gay, and if you touch my girlfriend’s arm one more Goddamn time I will shove that notebook of yours down your fucking throat. Got it, kid?”

You’re all shocked by Dean, who’s fixed Tyler with a look that would have scared anyone. The waiter is shocked and remains frozen for a minute. When he comes back to his senses, he bites his lip in fear.

“I’m… I’m so sorry… I just assumed…”

“Yeah, you did. And I bet you won’t do that again. Now, run back to the bar and get me another drink. Not killing you is really taking it out of me.”

The kid scampers off into the restaurant like a dog with his tail between his legs.

You’re a little worried that he’s going to call the cops on Dean but more than that you’re a little turned on by Dean’s aggression. Sammy’s smirking while cutting off pieces of his chicken.

“You sure don’t know how to put things gently, do ya Dean?” He jokes.

Dean shoots him a look then softens up a bit. He laughs at the situation when he meets your eyes and you give him a smile. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I told you guys I didn’t like him.”

“Eat you dinner, burger boy, before they throw us out of here.”

Although you’re kidding, you all eat a little faster than normal, just in case. You enjoy your salad more than you thought you would. The three of you keep looking around to see if Tyler reappears but he’s nowhere to be seen. However, you do spot a nicely dressed man walking your way.

“Shit,” Dean breathes. 

“Hi folks, how ya doing?” He asks when he reaches your table.

“Fine thanks,” Sam answers.

“I’m the manager here and I just wanted to say that I heard about the… Incident with your waiter and I just wanted to offer my apologies. Usually, our waiters and waitresses don’t behave so inappropriately. We do ask that you forgive us,” he leans over your table as you all continue to eat.

Dean takes a large bite of his cheeseburger, “Sure, whatever. I said what I had to say to Mr. Tyler. It’s all over now.”

“Oh good, thank you. To further make up for it, we’re willing to take half the price off your bill. And don’t worry about the tip.”

“Thank you,” you and Sam say in unison. The manager nods and walks away, back into the madness. You, Sam, and Dean all exchange amused glances.

“Well aren’t we lucky?” Dean seems proud of himself.

“Finally, one of your outbursts doesn’t get us shot at, thrown out, or arrested,” you laugh. 

“It’s a first, trust me,” Sam tells you.

“Now, can we enjoy our meal?” Dean’s halfway done with the burger that was once the size of his head.

You don’t see Tyler for the rest of the meal. A nice girl takes care of you the rest of the night and you leave her a small tip. The cut bill is more than in your budget and you can cover it easily though Dean does attempt to pay for it. In the end, you win that battle, like most you have with him. You’re still trying to show him that you’re a big girl and can take care of yourself. Though tonight was a prime example of how you still liked Dean’s help now and then. You walk out with him arm and arm with Sam taking the lead into the parking lot. You all need a good night’s sleep so you can wake up early and hunt. You and Dean get to try out your new bed. It’s so soft and comfy, you can’t even stay awake to christen it with him. There’s plenty of time for that, though. By this time tomorrow, you’ll be filled up with adrenaline from the hunt.


	12. Weekend At Dave's

“Y/N, baby, wake up.”

It's early. Half asleep, you mumble something. There's a soft tingling feeling at the base of your neck. It travels up your chin and to your cheek, then back down again. You wake up more but still don't open your eyes.

"Dean," you groan, sleepily.

He's planting kisses up and down your neck, gently bringing you to consciousness.

"If you want me to get OUT of bed, that's not gonna work."

Dean presses his lips to yours with one final kiss and replies, "Hey, it's better than what I was going to do to you."

You force your eyes open before rubbing them with the palms of your hands. Desperately trying to shake off the sleep, you stretch your arms and legs, yawning dramatically.

Deans sitting on the edge of the bed putting his shoes on, "Come on my little hunter."

"I don't want to be a hunter, I want to be asleep."

He chuckles, "It's a hard life, isn't it?"

Again, he plants kisses up your neck, rougher this time.

"Are you trying to wake me up or turn me on?"

"Why not both?"

"This really isn't the way to convince me to get out of bed."

"Fine," Dean pulls back the blankets and scoops you up. He holds you close and moves toward the door.

"Deeeeeeeean," you protest.

He ignores you and brings you down the hall, opening your bathroom door with his foot. Once inside, Dean puts you down tentatively in front of the sink. Standing, you arch your back and let your spine crack. Dean winces slightly and shakes his head.

"Don't do that, please."

You look in the mirror, "Hey, gotta be limber for the hunt later."

Your hair shows evidence of a good night's sleep. Opening a drawer and reaching for your brush, you tame your locks and throw them back in a high ponytail. This morning is like any other, only earlier. You wash your face and brush your teeth while Dean sits on the closed toilet and gives a rundown of how the day will go. It's more for his benefit than your own but you appreciate it all the same. 

"How long is the drive?" You question.

Dean makes the calculations in his head, "Four hours if we go the speed limit."

"When's the last time you did that?"

"Never."

"So more like three and a half?" You tease.

"Hey, I'll get us there in one piece, I promise."

You finish up the rest of your morning routine, throwing on clothes and a small bit of makeup. You're probably going to end up with blood on your face in the end so it was pointless, but it helps you wake up and you enjoy it. Sammy's in the kitchen when you and Dean walk out to meet him.

"I put everything in the car. Are you guys ready?"

Dean pours himself a travel mug full of coffee, "How the fuck are you so awake?"

Sam grins, "I like getting up early. Is used to run in the mornings, remember?"

The older brother pulls a bottle of Bailey's out of his liquor cabinet and dumps a fair amount in his coffee, "Yeah, well, you can drive the first hundred miles then."

Still a little groggy, you take the mug from Dean's hands and put it to your mouth. The taste of caffeine and alcohol helps you shake off the remaining cobwebs of sleep. Dean's looking at you with his hand open, not so patiently waiting for his drink back.

"I love you, but I NEED that back right now."

"Someone isn't a morning person," Sam remarks.

"Shut up or you'll be driving the whole way," Dean threatens.

He takes his Bailey's filled coffee back and takes a gulp, "Alright, let's go before I change my mind about this job."

"We all know it's too late for that."

The words come from your mouth but you can tell Sam was about to say something similar. Once you're a hunter, it's hard to get out of the life. You've only known a few that had. Usually, you become a hunter, you live as a hunter, and you die a hunter. Rarely did anyone get to retire. 

You all exit the bunker together, locking the door behind yourselves. You climb into the backseat of the Chevy and consider curling up and going back to sleep. Sam slides into the driver's seat and Dean into shotgun, still sipping his coffee. The two of them chatter for a while, trying to keep each other awake. The more sips of coffee Dean takes, the better his mood gets and the longer Sam's behind the wheel, the worse his gets. Sam's usually the better-spirited one and even after the first fifty miles of highway, he's still happier than Dean. Though, once the three of you really started the hunt, Dean would really lighten up.

You doze in and out throughout the trip. At one point, you wake up and Dean’s driving. When he notices you’re not asleep anymore, he turns the music up a few cranks. He smiles at you through in the rearview mirror. One of Dean’s few joys in life is his music. You’re the only person who really understands that. You get that when he’s got the Rolling Stones cranked up to full volume, he’s drowning out pain of one kind or another. You’ve been there. You are there. Sometimes, guitar solos and bass lines are the only things that keep you sane. 

The drive isn’t that bad, although it does take the full four hours. The traffic of people going to normal jobs slows Dean’s need for speed a little. The three of you make it to your destined town around nine thirty. The day would be spent doing things like tracking and consulting the other hunter in town. You wouldn’t strike until later when you were all more comfortable with the town and the parts you were going to play in the hunt. You have a feeling that you’re going to end up as bait. Anything for the greater good.

The Impala rolls into the driveway of the local hunter, Dave. He’s on the porch waiting when you pull up. He’s a late, middle-aged guy who looks like he’s seen some real crap in his life. You can tell this hunt is going to go quickly and smoothly. You’ll be back in the bunker, trying to seduce Dean soon enough.

“Glad you guys could make it,” Dave greets you when you all stumble out of the car.

“It’s our pleasure,” Sam reaches out and shakes his hand.

“If there’s something evil to kill, we show up,” Dean says, pulling a duffle bag from the trunk.

Dave’s gaze falls on you and he extends his hand in your direction, “You must be Y/N. Good to meet you.”

“You too. I hope we can get this cleaned up for you, nice and quick.”

“Thanks for getting here so fast. I’d do this myself but there are too many of them for a guy my age to tackle. With three extra sets of hands, this’ll be done in no time,” Dave notes as he opens the front door and gestures for you to go in.

“Those fuckers won’t know what hit ‘em,” Dean comes up behind you.

On the inside, the house is clean and simple. There is minimal decorations and furniture. It was obvious that Dave wasn’t used to having guests. He leads you all through a series of normal-looking rooms. Everything suggests that an average single adult male lives there. That is, until he guides to a locked door just outside the kitchen.

Dean leans over to you, “Do you think this leads to his sex dungeon?” He whispers.

You roll your eyes and turn your attention back to Dave expertly clicking open the lock and letting the door swing open. An old case of stairs leads downward into darkness. You follow Dave into the mysterious room with the brothers on your tail. Dean’s hand makes it’s way to your butt as you climb down the staircase. Even in the seriousness of a hunt, Dean can’t resist. Sam closes the door at the top of the stairs and everything goes dark for a moment before Dave switches on a light. The three of you find yourselves standing in a room that would have made any hunter jealous. It’s classy and sophisticated, but functional, judging by the maps on the wall. There are bookshelves filled with historical, mythological, and just plain old supernatural books and a desk stacked with fresh research. Sam looks around the room in envy as it’s just the sort of thing that he would love to have.

“Sit, sit,” Dave encourages you.

You and Dean sit together on a nice leather bench and Sam’s large frame takes up an expensive looking armchair. 

Dave cracks his knuckles, “Let’s get down to business.”


	13. Irresistible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I really want to know what you think of this work. I work hard to put out quality stuff and would love to hear (polite) opinions. Do you like the story line? Do you want more sex? Less sex? Is it good writing? I appreciate any feedback. Enjoy!

“Have I ever mentioned that I hate supernatural shit?”

In front of you is a suburban house, run down to the point that passerby’s wondered if anyone still loved there. It was separated from the other houses, tucked away in trees and overgrown brush. You sit in the passenger side of the Impala with Dean next to you, looking through a pair of binoculars. After Dave had sat you all down and filled you in completely on what was going on in town, Sam and Dave had gone out to do a little more investigation before going in with their guns blazing. You and Dean were on a stakeout of sorts, watching the house for any movement, unusual or otherwise.  
According to Dave, no one knew about the family of rugarus. The house they occupied was recently abandoned and wasn’t selling anytime soon. Dave had discovered their inhabitance after a series of staggered disappearances of locals. The four of you hunters put together could not figure out why they stuck together as a family or who they were. Not that it would matter when they were fried, extra crispy. Dean’s theory is that there is some weird incest thing going on that had passed the rugaru gene to the entire family and that they were just screwed up enough to stay together. Sam and Dave hadn’t responded to this theory but you could tell that they probably agreed and didn’t want to get further into it. 

Now the two of you were sitting in Baby watching a house. Not creepy at all. Time moves slowly and you mark the time by the sun’s place in the sky. It had to be noon by now and you’re starting to get impatient. Though this is better than walking around pretending to be a police officer or F.B.I. agent, it still sucks. You find yourself daydreaming and letting your mind wander to images of Dean from the other night. Even though some time has passed, you still can’t stop thinking about Dean’s incredible ability to make you orgasm. Part of you is fighting to stay focused on the hunt but that part is significantly weaker than the part of you that’s reaching over toward Dean’s leg.

You put your hand on Dean’s thigh and feel his muscles tense a little. In order to get a better grip, you scootch over a little on the bench seat. Dean lowers the binoculars.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m bored,” you complain.

“Me too but we’re working a job here.”

You make a noise of protest and slide your hand farther up his leg.

“Y/N…”

“You focus on the house, I’ll entertain myself.”

“I feel like you’re about to make it really hard for me to focus on anything.

“Maybe… Don’t worry about it.”

Dean goes back to casually watching the house in question and you move closer to him. Your fingers trace circles on his inner thigh, moving slowly to the crotch of his jeans.

“You know, Dave’s house is empty right now…”

“You’re killing me,” Dean replies.

You shrug, “I’m just saying… It’s been a few days.”

“Shut up.”

Again, you shrug, continuing your course of action. Inside the folds of denim, your fingers seek the familiar shape of Dean’s dick. You rub it just enough so he can feel it through his jeans. It comes to life beneath your fingertips, starting to become harder from your touch. You notice Dean’s eyes flutter slightly at the feeling. It’s hard for him to resist you and you now that. Dean’s a very sexually active creature and the past few days he hasn’t gotten enough action. But now isn't the right time.

“Stop,” he gently pushes your hand away, “You can’t tease me on a hunt.”

“Says who?” You bat your eyes.

Dean pauses, “I… I don’t know but I’m sure there’s like a hunter rule book somewhere that says that.”

“Bullshit!”

“Just watch the damn house so we can kill these things!”

For a few minutes, you obey him, keeping your eyes peeled for anything suspicious or really anything at all at this point. The mission was to stick around and see what you could see until further notice from Dave and Sam. You hope it isn’t too much longer.

You soon get bored again and notice Dean scrolling through his phone. Your fingers wander across the seat and into his lap once again. Dean tilts his head back and stares at the roof of the car in simulated annoyance.

“Y/N…” he warns.

You ignore him and reach for the buckle of his belt.

“Seriously?”

Staying silent, you expertly unbuckle it and do the same to his jeans. His protests are purely verbal and he makes no real move to stop you. Under the surface, Dean wants to see how far you’ll go with this. He wants your touch as bad as you want to give it. The only thing stopping you from straddling him is the fact that it’s daytime in a family neighborhood. However, that doesn’t stop you from sliding your hands into his pants and pulling out his cock. The bushes planted between the sidewalk and the road create a barrier that more or less hides the Impala. You’re hidden from view for now.

Dean swallows hard as you wrap your hand around him and slowly stroke his length. Something ignites inside you when you hear him curse under his breath.

“Fuck.”

Nothing turns you on more than when Dean expresses his pleasure. It urges you to be a bit rougher with him. He makes looks at you, his green eyes bright under heavy eyelids. You’ve got him where you want him, under your spell.

“Why would you ever deny me, Dean? Wouldn’t it be easier to just give in? We both want it, so let me make you feel good.”

He only nods and grips your thigh. You close the rest of the distance between you and let your leg touch his. The two of you work together to pull Dean’s jeans down a few more inches, not enough to expose him entirely, but enough so you can really reach his full length. Getting an idea, you bend your head down and lick the tip of his cock. Grunting, he weaves a hand through your hair. You bob your head up and down, dragging your mouth along his length.

“Y/N…”

You just go to work pleasuring Dean, occasionally glancing up to make sure no one’s coming by. He grips your hair tighter, gently helping you along. It’s going to be hard to pull yourself aways from this to go back to the hunt eventually. But you put everything else out of your head; right now you just want to bang Dean. You get more and more into it and bury Dean’s dick deeper in your mouth. He moans full on this time and you see him run his fingers through his hair. Your body responds positively to Dean’s reactions and you get more turned on. Everything he does makes you want him more. You don’t know if you’re going to be able to stop yourself from taking off your own jeans and riding him. For now, you restrain. Minutes pass by and you can tell he’s enjoying himself.

“You’re killin’ me, baby.”

You pull your head up and look into his eyes, “I don’t want to kill you, just make you cum.”

Dean throws his head back and lets out more noises of pleasure and you go back to work. You feel him getting closer to the edge and smile to yourself, pleased with your work. He tenses up and his moans get louder. Then, his noises are cut off by the classic rock ringtone he has set for Sammy. Dean reaches for his phone but you don’t quit. He can’t argue with you so he clears his throat and answers the phone, trying to gain composure. 

“Hey, Sammy.”

He squeezes the back of your neck, trying to suppress his moans. 

“Yeah… Yeah it’s dead. No signs of them.”

He succeeds for the most part and provides all the right answers to his brother. 

“Sure. What did you guys find?”

You can hear Sam’s voice on the other line and Dean’s leg starts to twitch. Dean takes the phone away from his ear and mutes the microphone.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck…”

Before you know it, there’s a bitter taste in your mouth and you can see Dean biting his lip out of the corner of your eye. You suck the last bit of saliva and cum off of Dean’s shaft and swallow hard. Smirking at him, you pull his pants up and start to buckle them.

“Alright, we’ll be right there Sam. See you soon.”

Dean hangs up and as you loop his belt back up, he grabs your hand. You look up at him and he glares at you with sexual frustration.

“You’re going to get it.”

You just smile and kiss the side of his cheek and wipe your mouth, “Of course sir.”


	14. Die Hard the Hunter

It’s so quiet, all you can hear is your own shallow breathing. Blood rushes through your body so hard you can hear it in your ears. You’re usually not one for prayer but you silently ask Castiel to watch over you as you go through this hunt. This is your first time working a job of this intensity. Telling Dean you had feelings for him the first time had had you less scared. But, there’s no way you can back out now, you’re in too deep.

You’re in the hallway closet of the rugaru house. It’s dark and you’re alone. You trust the boys and all but you really hope their plan works because if not, you could all die. Any minute those creatures could come home and Dean would start the plan. Until then, you have to focus on slowing your heart rate or you won’t be doing any fighting. You breathe slowly and fully in an attempt to regain your heart’s regular rhythm. In that way, it’s a success, but you’re still terrified.

After the stakeout with Dean, the two of you had gone back to Dave’s house to hear what he and Sam found out. They had met a girl in town who had almost been kidnapped on by a monster on a hike earlier that week. They interviewed her and asked the usual questions to get a better idea of what you’d be dealing with. Then you’d all formulated a plan before waiting for the sun to dip low enough under the horizon to carry it out. And now the four of you are hiding in the monsters’ house, waiting for them to come back. Again, you pray that everything goes well and that you get to go home tonight in one piece.

Outside, there’s a rustling sound. Even though you hope with all your heart that it’s just Sam, you know it isn’t. The battle is about to start. The front door opens quietly and you hear a few sets of footsteps on the hardwood, followed by a thump and a muffled cry. 

“Get in there,” a female voice says.

Your breath catches in your throat as you realize how real this is. Thoughts race through your head as you try to focus on what’s going on. Into view comes a what was once a woman, about thirty. You get a glimpse of her face and take it in. If you weren't accustomed to the supernatural, you may have screamed. However, you are and so you just try and get a grip on what’s going on. The rugaru seems to be pulling something.

“Hurry up, slut.”

You hear another thump and something hits the wall on the side of the hall that the closet’s on. The door rattles and through the slats you make out what appears to be a teenage girl. She’s bound and gagged and there’s a ruagru male pushing her along. She’s a little beat up but she’s very alive. This could be a problem. Panicked, confused humans often get in the way of a seemingly simple hunt. In your head, you ask Cas to help get this girl out alive. She’s innocent in all this but she could be hazardous.

You start to wonder where the other rugarus are as the first to head towards the kitchen. Hopefully they won’t do anything to the girl before you and the boys jump into action. The others have to arrive before you guys make your move otherwise things could go south very fast. You stand there listening to ruagru 1 and 2 talk to each other in hushed tones, only being interrupted by the occasional duct-tape muffled cry. The girl is obviously still gagged and you think you can see them tying her to a chair.

Finally, the sounds of the last two monsters entering the house travel down the hall. When they walk by the closet, you can see they’re both female. The question of how they all turned and why they stay together pops up in your head once more. Now isn’t the time for that, though. Now is the time to fight. You’d noticed they’d locked the front door behind them, which must mean they were in for the night. Time to get this party started. As planned, you pull out your phone and shoot a quick text to Dean. Seconds later, a loud crash comes from upstairs.

“Go check that out!” Rugaru 1 tells one of her companions. 

They male climbs the stairs, two at a time and you hear his feet fall above your head. Then, you send another text, this time to Sam. Instantly, you hear what sounds like trash cans hitting the pavement outside. You can’t see anything but you hear another rugaru head out the back door.

“What’s going on?” Rugaru 1 asks the remaining monster.

The human girl screams, then receives a hard smack.

“Shut up!”

“From upstarts comes the sounds of struggle, followed by silence. Dean has succeeded in subduing one of the creatures. The last two bolt, one upstairs and the other out the back door. You spring into action. The hallway closet bursts open and you barrel down the hallway toward the kitchen. Reaching in your pant leg, you pull your knife. The captive girl catches sight of you and her eyes grow wide. When you reach her, you begin cutting her loose and rip the duct-tape off her mouth. For a moment, she just sits there stunned. 

“What the hell are those things?” She asks, bewildered.

“Do you believe in monsters?”

“No,” she replies.

You shake your head, “Well you do now. Listen to me, run. Run and don’t look back. Go home and forget this ever happened.”

“But who are you?”

Annoyed, you pull the girl to her feet, “It doesn’t matter, now go! Run!”

She looks at you one last time, terrified, before sprinting down the hall, only pausing to unlock the front door. You watch her disappear into the night, knowing if nothing else, you saved one person. But before you can turn around, there’s a cold hand around your mouth and an arm around your waist.

“You let our dinner go, you little bitch,” a voice says in your ear. 

You’re being dragged backward and you can’t quite get your footing. The rugaru’s hand prevents you from screaming, so you just kick and struggle to get away.

“I’ll snap your neck, I swear.”

She opens a door and starts to pull you down a set of stairs that you believe leads to the basement. She’s forcing you awkwardly down the stairs when you hatch an idea. With one last ditch effort, you throw yourself backward, hard. The movement causes the monster to lose her balance and the two of you tumble down the rest of the stairs. You smack your head on something hard and pain shoots through your skull. The room seems to spin around you and your vision isn't clear but you pick yourself off the floor and scan around for a weapon. 

“DEAN!!!!!”

Your hand meets the wooden handle of a shovel and you grip it tight. The rugaru has regained her bearings and stands a few feet in front of you.  
“You’re gonna get it, girl,” she spits.

“Try me.”

She comes at you and you swing the shovel like a baseball bat. She ducks and goes to grab you around the waist, but you jump away from her grasp.

“Dean!!” You call again. 

“You can scream for your little boyfriend all you want but my brother’s probably eating his heart out right now.

Again, you lift your weapon, ready to strike. The monster comes again, clawing for your face like a wild animal. Using the wooden handle of the shovel, you block her. The rugaru grabs onto it and the two of you struggle to overpower one another. 

Without warning, she sweeps your legs out from underneath you with her foot. In attempting to catch yourself, you let go of the shovel and she throws it to the side. You fall, landing flat on your back, barely stopping your head from bashing on the concrete floor.

The once-human woman climbs on top of you, pinning you to the floor.

“I’m going to kill you.”

She lowers her head toward your neck with clear intentions of taking a large bite out of your flesh. As she bares her disgusting teeth, you squeeze your eyes shut. 

“Like hell you will.”

There’s a wave of heat and light that causes you to open your eyes again. You see flames erupt behind the rugaru. She screams in pain and rolls off of you, to the floor in anguish. Dean stands behind you with a torch and a can of hairspray, following her with the flame. You scramble to your feet and stand next to him as the rugaru burns to ashes. You don’t watch her die but you look long enough to make sure she’s not going to get up ever again. Once you’re sure she’s finished, you let Dean take you by the shoulders. 

“Run upstairs to Sammy and David and make sure they have the others under control.”

“What are you going to do?”

He pushes you toward the stairs, “Someone’s gotta clean this shit up.”

“Let me help you, Dean. I’d like to be with you right now, I almost died.”

“Go, we’re still on a hunt, do what I say! Go upstairs and help Sam, now,” Dean barks.

For a moment, you half consider picking up the shovel again and taking a swing at him. But then you snap out of it and do as your told. He’s right, even if he is harder on you about it than he needs to be. You are still on a hunt and you have to get this wrapped up before something else goes wrong. It didn’t take long for Sam, Dean, and Dave to drop the other rugarus, but it also didn’t take long for the last one to grab you and almost take a hunk out of you. This has to end. When you're a hunter there’s no time to contemplate the fact that you almost became a monster’s last meal. It happens far too often to dwell on. So, with a little nod, you bound up the stairs and outside to find Sam and Dave dragging two of the rugarus back into the woods. There’s one tied to the back porch which you untie and pull towards the trees. They have a fire pit set up far enough into the woods where no one would ever know you were burning the humanoid creatures. They’d burn like witches at the stake. 

After a while, Dean comes out to help you secure the captives to the wooden poles surrounded by kindling.

“We’re not so different from you, you know,” the male rugaru says to you as you secure his bonds. 

“I don’t kill people.”

“Maybe not, but you kill what you call monsters. Anything different from you, you seem to think is less worthy of life. You kill for sport.”

“That’s a load of shit.”

Sam comes up behind you and pulls on your shoulder, “I got this. Don’t worry about him.”

You walk away from the rugarus and stare at Sam for a moment.

“We kill evil. We protect people. If monsters didn’t hunt people, we wouldn’t hunt monsters.”

He hands you a book of matches and you light one, looking at the kerosine-soaked wood before dropping it in the pit. The whole thing goes up in flames in an instant. You turn away as the smell of burning flesh fills the air. Dean stands facing the inferno, the orange light reflecting off his eyes. He doesn’t look at you. You feel like you should want to be near him but instead, you walk away from the fire’s heat and off into the woods. There’s a fallen log you come across and take a seat on. There are so many things going on in your head that you can’t sort them all out. The buzzing thoughts start to give you a headache. What if that rugaru was right? Hunters did kill anything not human and a lot of them did do it for the fun of it. And the way Dean was acting was enough in itself to make you never want to hunt again. How did the boys do this? You’ve hunted ghosts and a few blood sucking vamps before, but nothing like this. You’d never killed anything that hadn’t asked to become a monster. Rugarus didn’t ask to be turned; it was in their blood. Did that make them innocent? Did you just burn and innocent being?

Your thoughts are interrupted by heavy footfalls and cracking sticks. Without turning around, you know it’s Sam. You look over your shoulder to see him towering over you.

“Hey, Y/N. Are you okay? Dean said one of those things almost go you.”

You turn to fully face him, “Yeah, I was shaken up but I’m okay now. I’ll feel better when this whole thing is over.”

Sam nods and looks around the woods. Your eyes are fixed on the stars, desperately trying not to look in the direction of the flames. Sam eventually looks back down at you and says what he came to say.

“I know you’re confused. I saw the look in your eyes when that thing was talking to you. What we do is good. Those monsters kill people. They’re not human anymore and they’ll never be anything but hungry. Every once in a while, we run across a vampire that drinks donated blood or a werewolf that eats cats. We don’t bother things that don’t cause harm. We’re not murderers, we’re just keeping the peace. Not all monsters are evil but the ones who are, need to be stopped. We do good, Y/N, YOU do good. Trust me, we aren’t the bad guys here.”

Sam’s puppy dog eyes and reassuring head nods make you believe what he’s saying. He has a way of making everything seem a little less dark, the way a big brother should. You love Dean but you really don’t think you could do this without Sam. the life would consume you. Standing up, you wrap your arms around him and let Sam hug you.

“Thanks, Sammy. I needed to hear that.”

About twenty minutes later, the fire has been stamped out and the rugarus have turned to smoke and float away like a bad memory. You climb into the back of the Impala, ready to go home. Dave wishes you well and sends you off into the dark. You and Dean haven’t had much of an exchange since the basement. Feeling alone, you curl up in the leather car seat and try to drift off to sleep. Part of you doesn’t want to get in bed with him tonight. The other part misses your mom more than ever before. A couple tears roll down your cheeks before you fall into a light, restless sleep.


	15. Rough Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm slow at getting these up but I promise there will always be more coming <3

The night is so quiet that it's intimidating. Around you, oppressive darkness closes in, but somehow you -apparently the in the center of it- are not afraid. Calm is the only thing you feel. You're sitting on a log, just as you were right after you lit up the rugarus. Within the darkness, there's movement. You look to see what could be out there but whatever it is always seems to be right at the edge of your vision. Slowly, fear starts to pierce your calm. You try to stand up but your legs feel heavy and impossible to move. There are noises starting to come from the darkness. Craning your neck, you look for any signs of life or and source of light. There's nothing. The only thing you can see is the log you're sitting on and your feet. As the indescribable, monstrous noises get closer, you start to panic. You're alone. You're vulnerable. You want Dean.

"Hello?!" You call into the void.

There's silence. The noises stop. Then suddenly with a jolt, you're falling. The darkness engulfs you and suffocates you. You try to scream but there’s no air in your lungs. It’s too dark to see but you near what you believe to be the bottom of the pit and-  
You wake up instead of hitting the ground. When you open your eyes it takes a moment to process the world around you. You're in your bed and the lamp in the corner of the room is on. Dean isn't next to you and you can't tell what time it is. Someone must have carried you in from the car and put you in bed. On the chair near the lamp, you see your clothes. Whoever brought you in must have changed you too. Feeling your own shoulder, you notice you're wearing one of Dean's big, soft t-shirts. He knows how much you hate getting in bed with clothes on and must have taken a moment to peel off your dirty, hunter clothes. He does care about you.

The sound of footsteps comes from the hallway. You bury your face back in the pillows and pretend to be asleep. The bedroom door opens and you know it has to be Dean. Through barely open eyes you watch him. He shrugs off his red, plaid flannel and tosses it at the chair. He pauses, looking at you on the bed. His lips curl into a tiny smile.

"Stop faking."

You don't move.

"Come on now," he approaches the bed and climbs on top of you, "I said, stop faking."

Dean kisses your neck softly and gently ruffles your hair. 

Finally, you open your eyes and turn to face him.

"Hi," you yawn.

"Hey, have you been crying?" Dean asks you.

You shake your head, "No, I don't think so."

"It definitely looks like you have been. Are you okay?" He grazes your cheek with his fingertips, then meeting your eyes, takes your face in his hand.

"It's been a rough night."

"You had another nightmare,” this is a statement, not a question.

You look at him puzzled, "Another?"

"You have them a lot, sometimes you talk in your sleep. I'm not an expert but I can tell when you're having them."

"I don't always remember them," you think about the one you do remember from tonight. 

Dean kisses your forehead and stands up. He pulls off his t-shirt exposing the skin underneath and puts it in the pile with the rest of the discarded clothes. Just like that, you've wordlessly forgiven him for treating you like a soldier on the hunt. You know you should talk to him about it at some point but right now you can't deny your desire to just be near him.

From the corner of the room, Dean grabs the laundry basket you've begged him to use and throws all the clothes from the chair into it. He stands there in just his jeans, teasing you. Again, he walks to the bed, this time sitting on the edge next to you.

"I'm sorry if I keep you up at night," you sit up behind him and put your arms around his neck and head on his bare back.

Caressing your arm he tells you, "It doesn't keep me up, I just worry about my baby girl."

"You shouldn't, I'm a big girl, I can deal with it."

Then, with one motion, Dean turns and pushed you back on the bed, leaning over you and whispers, "But I can make all your nightmares go away."

For a moment, you gaze up into his vivid green eyes, his mouth inches from yours. You close the distance and kiss him hard. Your arms wrap around him as he threads his fingers through the hair at the back of your head. He moves you so your head is resting on the pillows.

"I love you, Y/N."

"I love you, Dean.”

You lift your arms so he can pull your shirt from your chest and up over your head. He holds you close to him, one arm under your back and the other supporting his weight. The kiss gets deeper and more passionate. The two of you roll so you're on top and Dean lets you unbuckle his belt and jeans. It’s been a little while since you have had the chance to be truly intimate with each other and you’re eager to have Dean ravish you again. Between the nights you've both collapsed into bed, too exhausted to move and the ones spent in the library with Sammy until the sun’s come up, there hasn’t been much time for sex. You have the feeling you’re going to have to start making time. 

After pulling off Dean’s bottom layers, he makes quick work of removing yours, swiping off your underwear with an expert hand. You trace your fingers down Dean’s chest and stomach, making him shiver just a little bit. He lies there looking up at you, waiting to see if you’ll make the first move. Of course, you oblige. Climbing on top of him, you sink onto his hard cock as though you’ve done it a thousand times. You reach down and grip his shoulders to give yourself leverage. Over the years you’ve learned that to truly ride a man, you don't grind your hips back and forth, you use your thighs to push yourself up and down. You want to make Dean’s eyes roll back. Slowly, you let his cock slide in and out of you, making you both sigh a little bit. His hands move up your thighs to your waist, helping you move. While you bounce up and down on his dick, you roll your hips slightly, allowing him to feel every inch of you. He grips your side tighter, practically snarling at you.

“Oh, I knew there was a reason I wanted you on top tonight.”  


You give him a shit-eating grin and quicken your motions. He flashes you the same kind of smile and throws his head back into the pillows. Again, you speed up, going harder than before. He bites his lip and moans, still helping you along with his hands. You ride Dean until your thighs burn and you’re not sure if you can keep going. Just when you’re about to quit, Dean pulls himself into a sitting position and shoves you backward. Before you even hit the sheets, he’s railing you pretty hard. Now it’s your turn to bite your lip and take his cock. 

“Dean…”

He wraps his hand around your throat firmly but loose enough to give you plenty of air.

“Yes, baby girl?”

“Don’t hold out on me.”

He releases his grip and leans down to kiss the places his hand had been, only pausing to sink his teeth into the side of your neck.

“You know I’d never do that,” he whispers.

A moan escapes your lips, involuntarily. You hear Dean chuckle and pull you upright suddenly so your face is pressed against his.

“If you let me, I can put you to sleep like this every night. You’ll never have a bad dream ever again. Well… Unless they're about me.” 

He winks and continues to thrust his hips into you. You help him the best you can from your awkward kneeling position but eventually give up and let him fuck you how he wants to. You wrap your fingers through his hair and open his lips with yours. Again, you kiss him deeply, rolling your tongue with his. He slides an arm around your back, pulling you closer and buries his other hand in your hair. Giving it a slight tug, he pulls your head back.

“Do you like when I’m rough with you?” He asks, his voice raspy and low. 

You nod, “But only if I can be rough with you.”

With that, you drag your nails down his strong back. He grunts and bares his teeth at you.

“I love it when you’re bad for me.”

He lays you back down on the bed again so he can take you missionary style. 

“You’re lucky I don’t make you scream.”

“I don’t call that luck.”

“Well we don’t want Sammy to break up our little party now do we?”

“Maybe he’ll want to join it. You can’t keep me all to yourself,” you taunt him.

He grabs your throat once more, a little harder this time, “Not in your wildest fucking dreams. You’re mine.”

For the next fifteen minutes, you let Dean rail you into the sheets, working you both into orgasm. You spend the majority of that time trying to keep from being too loud and waking up Sam. You also reach a level of bliss that makes you believe you’d let Dean do just about anything to you. When he’s finally finished, you’re more in love with him than when you started. The two of you get out of bed and go wash up in the bathroom. While standing in front of the sink, Dean wraps his arms around you.

“You know I love you, right?”

“Of course! And I love you.”

“I just wanted to make sure you knew. Even though I like having rough sex with you I still care about you. Don’t forget that,” he kisses your forehead. 

“I feel the same way, Dean.”

Once back in the bedroom, you both crawl into bed naked and fall asleep, hands interlocked. You don’t have any more nightmares that night. In fact, you get the best night’s sleep you’ve had in a really long time. Maybe Dean is right; he can make all your nightmares go away.


	16. A New Hunt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! I know this is really short. I just wanted to let everyone know I'm still around and haven't stopped writing. I'll be back on my game really soon. I love you all.
> 
> Update: A member brought my attention to a plot error so this chapter has been edited.

“Y/N! What the fuck is this?”

Dean walks into the kitchen holding a fake spider with the very tips of his fingers.

You smile and take it from him, “It’s a decoration!”

“Why?”

“It’s October, my love! Most people decorate this time of year.”

You put the fake spider down and adjust the fake leaf wreath that you’re attempting to hang.

Sam’s cutting through the room, laptop in hand.

“Sammy, do you have any idea what she’s talking about?”

Sammy looks up from whatever he’s reading to see you messing with the wreath, “Ugh. I think she’s referring to the human holiday at the end of October where everyone decorates with overpriced dead things and wears bad costumes.”

“Halloween? You’re decorating for Halloween?” Dean looks at you with horror.

“You’re a genius, baby.”

You pick up your box of makeshift decorations and scoot passed him, kissing his cheek on the way. 

“Why do you want to celebrate Halloween when we see monsters every day?”

Sighing, you turn to him, “Because it’s fun, Dean. Before demons took over my life, Halloween was my favorite holiday. Fall is a lot of fun for me!”

He rolls his eyes and follows you as you walk through the bunker throwing a paper bat here and a bunch of leaves there. Although begrudgingly, Dean eventually takes a handful of fake spider webs and drapes the, across your bedroom door. 

“Okay, but what’s that smell?”

“I believe what you’re smelling is the nice pumpkin vanilla candles I lit in our room,” you smile sweetly.

He lets out a massive groan and rubs his temples, “How long is this going to go on?”

You shrug, “Until Black Friday when I replace it all with Christmas stuff!”  “Ugh, God help me.”

For a little longer, the two of you decorate the rest of the bunker, you far more enthusiastically than Dean. In a way, it is weird to decorate for a holiday based on the things you rid the world of every single day, but you have to have fun once in a while, don’t you? You agree with yourself and put out the remainder of the decorations.

“Where did you get all this crap anyway?” Dean asks, handing you the last paper bat.

“I saw someone having a garage sale on my way home from the store yesterday.”

“That’s fan-freaking-tastic.”

“Hey guys! Come here for a second!” Sam calls from the library.

You follow Dean to where his brother is sitting, huddled over his laptop. He’s writing something down with one hand and holding his cell phone in the other. 

“Yup, alright. Thanks, bye.”

He puts the phone down and looks at the two of you, “How do you guys feel about making a trip to Salam?” 

“Massachusetts? That’s a long way from here. What’s up?”

Sam closes his laptop lid and cracks his neck, “There’s a thing with some witches up that way I got a tip from some hunters out there. Thought we might wanna check it out.”

“Why us?” Dean asks, furrowing his brow.

“Well, we haven’t had a hunt in a little bit and I thought Y/N would like seeing Salam around Halloween time. It’s pretty cool.”

Sam and Dean don't know much about your life before them so there's no way for Sam to know that you've had bad experiences there. None the less, it's Halloween time and Salem is always buzzing with excitement now. You smile at Sam and nod, "Of course! Though it won't be my first rodeo, you know. I know a thing or two about good ol' Salam, Mass. I'm sure I can be of assistance taking out these witches. Plus it's one of my favorite places to visit this time of year. Come on, Dean!"

“Ugh, what is with you people? Fine! Fine, we can go but if I don’t get to kill something, I’m going to be pissed!”

You shoot a little smile in Sam’s direction. You both know how Dean can be and you both know how to manipulate him. 

“Great. We leave in a few hours.”

“Fuck, come on!”

“Yes! I’ll go get packing!” You start to get excited about going back to the place you once called home.

“Don’t forget to blow out your candles, Y/N!” Sam calls as you dash down the hallway toward your room. 

“Oh, shit, almost forgot!”

“That would have been great, burn down the bunker with friggin’ pumpkin vanilla candles,” Dean scoffs.

“You’re a jerk,” you bump him with your shoulder as you go by. 

Dean’s wet-blanket attitude can’t dampen your spirit. You fling open the door to your room and dig out your duffle bag and start shoving clothes into it. You don’t know how long you’ll be gone or how long the hunt will take so you just throw a bunch of stuff into the bag. This is going to be fun for you even if you don’t see a single real witch. Maybe you can get back into some of your old hangout spots. Stifling the bad memories is going to be a challenge but you're a big girl now; you've seen a lot worse in the time you've spent with the Winchesters. Either way, there's going to be all kinds of touristy things you want to do. You’re going to have to try really hard to actually focus on any sort of hunt that’s waiting for you up in Salam. You can’t wait.


	17. Homecoming

The road trip is the same as it always is. It’s about a day’s drive from Kansas to Massachusetts and the three of you have to stop at a rest stop to refuel about halfway through the drive. It wasn’t as bad as one would think. That is, unless you’re Sammy of course. He has to deal with you belting out every note to every Led Zeppelin and AC/DC song there is. You even convince Dean to let you play some of your Guns N’ Roses cassettes which is surprising since it doesn’t abide by his “driver picks the music” rule. Sam and him take turns driving and sleeping and they both laugh at you when you ask if you can drive. 

“I love you, honey but Baby will always be my first love.”

You can tell you’re getting closer to your destination by the air. The north is different in a lot of ways. You’ve spent a lot of your life up there. You used to vacation in south Jersey and spend winters up in the Adirondacks. This is like a homecoming for you. Slowly, you get closer to the ocean. The roads become more familiar and landmarks make you think of different times. This might end up being more emotional than you thought. 

The colors on the trees are exceptional. You used to make fun of the morons who would come from far and wide to see a bunch of dead leaves but now you understand. Finally, you get to Salam. The boys go through their usual routine of picking somewhere to stay for the duration of your adventure. When the three of you get out of the car at the motel, memories hit you like a brick wall.

“Well, boys, welcome to Halloween Town.”

The place is decked out for Halloween. Pumpkins littered the streets and there didn’t seem to be on storefront without some kind of decoration in front of it. There were little tourist girls running around with witch hats on and little boys brandishing wands. This was obviously the on season for everyone in Salam. 

“I swear to god if I don’t get to kill something-” Dean started.

“Shut up. We’re here and you’re gonna be happy about it.” You cut him off. 

You drag all your stuff into the motel room and instantly you feel like a little kid on vacation.

“Do you guys want to go explore?”

Sam raises his eyebrows at you, “You want to go out into Halloween Town?”

“Yeah! By the looks of all the banners it seems like the local football team has its homecoming soon, maybe we could catch some of that. And I can tell you where all the best places to eat are. Well, I can tell you almost anything you want to know about this town, including all the stops on all the assorted witch tours they give.”

Sam and Dean are exchanging looks and you roll your eyes.

“Come on guys, I lived here longer than anywhere else since I became a hunter. I kinda missed it, you know, now that I’m over all the crap that happened here.”

“What did happen here, Y/N?” Dean asks.

You hesitate for a moment before answering. “I uh… I lost someone I care about. One of the only people I’ve ever cared about. There was a rogue witch… It’s a long story.”

“I’m sorry…” Sam puts a hand on your shoulder.

“Yeah, me too. But, use that to help us track down the witches we’re looking for now,” Dean tells you.

Losing some of your enthusiasm about being here you ask, “So what exactly is going on her? What’s our case?”

“I’m glad you asked,” Sam smiles slyly and fishes out his laptop and flips it open, “So apparently every two years or so a kid goes missing without a trace. The thing is, it’s always the same kind of kid; mid to late teens and they all look kind of similar, dark hair and blue eyes. No one ever really noticed because it hasn’t been going on that long.”

“How do we know it’s not a serial killer kind of thing?” Dean asks. 

“Well that’s what the cops think, but a couple weeks ago there were a couple hunters passing through and they noticed something about the cases that seemed odd to them. All the boys had worked at the same pub here in town. When they looked further into the place they found some old articles and things about the pub and in all the pictures of her, the owner never seems to age.”

Sam pulls up a picture of the owner and you gasp.

“That was my manager!”

“What?”

“Back when I lived here I worked at a pub, uhhh the Six Broomsticks! That woman was my manager!”

“Well, she apparently owns the place, and look at this.” Sam pulls up a series of articles with pictures dating back to the fifties. All of them featured a woman in her thirties in fashions matching the time period she was supposed to be in. 

“But why would she be so obvious?” Your brow furrows. 

“She goes by different names, posing as relatives of the original owner.”

Dean crosses his arms, “That’s weak.”

“It is, but she must have the whole town charmed, literally, because no one has ever questioned it. Not even our own Y/N and her mom,” Sam glances at you.

“Do we have pictures of the missing boys?” You ask, mechanically. 

“Of course.”

In a few clicks, Sam has seven pictures of teenage boys up on the screen, side by side. When you study them, you heart catches in your chest.

“Jake.”

You feel the blood drain from your face and you push Sam out of the way to enlarge one of the pictures.

“You know him?” Dean looks at you pointedly.

“Yeah… He was my boyfriend.”

Now Dean and Sam are both looking at you with wide-eyed expressions on their faces. 

“I… I thought he was dead,” you hear yourself say.

Dean looks at you, confused, “You didn’t know if your boyfriend was missing or dead?”

You take a deep breath, “I… He is dead. I saw him die. I figured someone would find him in the morning. My mom and I left that night… The witch must have done something with the body…”

“Y/N, can you tell us what happened?”

You sit down on one of the motel beds and rub your face with your hands. “Oh my God…”

After a minute of getting your thoughts together, you start to recount the night you fled Salam to the Winchester brothers.

“Jake and I both worked at the Six Broomsticks. He was a bit older than me, eighteen, and he was the bartender. He was the first man I ever loved, the best boyfriend I’d ever had. Pricilla, the manager we were talking about, closed early one night and let us go home. I was supposed to meet Jake downtown after we both got changed. I left the pub before him but when I got home I realized that I forgot my house keys, so I went back. It was still open when I got there so I just went back to the break room to find my keys. When I opened the door there was this alter and a bunch of candles… Some dead cat or something…”

You run your fingers through your hair and hold back all the emotions that were welling up. Dean’s looking at you with a mixture of jealousy and anticipation. Sam’s pulling his usual comforting, puppy eyes act, telling you it’s okay.

“And… There was Jake, hanging there by some rope strung up in the rafters. He was covered in blood and he looked like he wasn’t breathing. Before I could go to him this guy.. This witch came out of nowhere and told me it was too late. I was unarmed so I ran. I ran home and of course I told my mom. I was hysterical and I just begged her to get us out of there. I’m shocked she actually listened. We packed what we had and just left without finishing the job. She called some other hunter to catch the witch. They got him, or at least they said they did. They wouldn’t lie. This can’t be the same guy, can it?”

Sam scratches his head, “I mean, it wouldn’t be the first time a hunter thought a probable was solved and was wrong.”

“Maybe he was working with your witchy manager there, Pricilla,” Dean suggests.

“Maybe they were together, trying to achieve something,” Sam says.

You don’t have anything to add. The feeling is starting to come back in your limbs even though you hadn’t even noticed it had left in the first place. Sam and Dean run ideas back and forth but you don’t hear any of them. Losing Jake had really broken you up when it first happened but you’d never had the chance to properly grieve him. Real life was more important at the time and you and your mom were in a battle for survival. You hadn't even really thought of him until now. You definitely hadn’t thought about how he died. You told the Winchesters you saw him die but that wasn’t exactly true. But he couldn’t have been hanging there alive, could he have been?

“Well why all the same kind of kid? What do they want?”

You pick your head up for the first time in a few minutes. “I don’t know what that witch wants but I do know one thing. She’s gonna die and I’m going to kill her myself.”


	18. The Process of Grieving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BAAAAAAACK. Sometimes all I need is to be nagged enough and I'll get back on my game. So keep the comments coming and I'll keep updating my content! Love you guys <3.

An hour later you’ve completely forgotten about the football game and tourist attractions. You’re laying your weapons out on your bed, taking inventory when Sam and Dean walk through the door.  
  
“Y/N, are you okay? You’re taking this really… seriously. I’ve never seen you hunt like this before,” Dean notes, putting a hand on your shoulder.  
  
In your state, you shrug him off. “That bitch took something from me. The only thing I cared about at the time. Now I’m going to take something from her.”  
  
You're out for pure revenge, driven by anger and decade old sadness. You’re pissed. There’s not much more to it. Pulling a boot knife from its sheath, you start shining it while looking at Dean. “I’m doing great, thanks for asking.”  
  
Dean shoots a glance at Sam and Sam, taking the hint, leave the motel room again. “Y/N… Babe… You can talk about this. It’s not easy losing someone you love. What you saw, well, a young girl should never have to see something like that. No one should.,” Dean tells you. He pushes a gun and some wooden stakes out of the way and sits on the edge of the bed.  
  
You huff, more annoyed than comforted. “I’m not talking about this with you. I just want revenge.”  
  
Dean takes the knife from your hand and grabs you forcefully by the shoulders. “Is this how you’d act if you lost me the same way you lost him? I want you to work through it. I’d want you to talk to someone. I’m not the best with feelings, you know that, but you force me to work through them and it’s always better that way.” He lightens his grip and puts a hand under your chin. “You’re not alone. Tell me about it, Y/N. I’ll listen.”  
  
Finally, you let your emotions run free like a dam breaking. A few hot tears flow down your cheeks without you realizing. “I loved him, Dean. I really really loved him. And… If we had broken up like most people do, I could deal with that. If there had been a fight and we decided we weren’t supposed to be together, I would have been able to handle it. If he had stopped loving me one day like any of the other morons out there, I would have gotten over it. But he didn’t. He died. He died right before he was supposed to meet me for a date. If I had stayed just a little longer at the pub with him, if we had walked home together…. I should have known better. I’m a hunter, I know what can happen. I took it for granted that everything, at least with him, was going to be normal. I never thought… I could never imagine something like that happening to him. I loved him. He was the only person besides my mom who really cared. I think my mom let us stay here so long because she knew. We didn’t date that long but we had goals, we had plans. I never really got over losing him. And I worry about losing you every day. Hell Dean, every day you could die and not come back. I can’t go through that again. I would never recover from that.”  
  
Dean pulls you into his lap and lets you put your head on his shoulder. For a minute he just holds you, saying nothing. You wonder if you’ve bothered him with talk of Jake but you don’t entirely care. But Dean kisses the top of your head and whispers words of comfort, “It’s okay, Y/N. You don’t have to be over it or over him. You’re a human, even though sometimes hunters have to be more than human. You know you couldn’t have prevented what happened to him. Even if you had thought of it, even if you knew what was going to happen, you were too young, unarmed, unprepared. You couldn’t have stopped it. Leaving was the best thing you could do for yourself. Sometimes, you have to do things for yourself. I don’t blame you. If the same thing happened to you and I had been in your position… I’d be in worse shape than you are. You are more than justified for feeling the way you do. It’s okay if you still love him. You lost a good relationship without any closure. I understand and I’m not upset or bothered. A little jealous that anyone other than me has you this whipped,” Dean chuckles, “But I’m not mad, so don’t even think that.”  
  
For a little while, you just sit there in his lap, arms wrapped around him, processing it all. His words absolutely comforted you, but you know that after this hunt is over, you’re going to have to do some real emotional processing and get yourself some closure. But for now, you do feel better. After a few minutes, Sam pokes his head in the door and you beckon for him to enter. He comes over to you and you give him a big hug too. He’s no Dean but more and more you’ve come to feel like Sam was your big brother and his strong arms are almost as comforting as Deans. Without even having been part of the conversation, he knows what you need.  
  
“You’re strong, Y/N, but you don’t always have to be. We’re always here for you. We’re a family.”  
  
This almost makes you cry again but you just nod and hug him tighter.  
  
“I love you guys. Thank you.”  
  
Dean squeezes your hand, “Our pleasure. Now, are you still down to show us this tourist trap? I could go for a burger and some beer before we burn these witches.”  
  
You and Sam both roll your eyes. “Dean, you could always go for a burger.”  
  
He shrugs and gets up from the bed. “So? They’re the most delicious things in the world. I’ll be damned if I don’t have one everywhere we go.”  
  
“I should be less worried about losing you in a hunt and more worried about losing you to bad cholesterol,” you mumble.  
  
Sam laughs, “Honestly, he’s going to have a heart attack way before he gets killed by something we’re hunting.”  
  
Dean scowls slightly at the two of you and heads toward the door. “Shut up. My life’s gonna be short one way or another, I might aw well eat what I want while I can!”  
  
You follow him to the door and open it before he can. “Well, in that case, I’ll be your tour guide to the greasiest places in Salam.”  
  
“Lead the way, babe.” Dean wraps an arm around your waist.  
  
Sam follows you out the door and the three of you are off on an adventure. You haven’t forgotten about all the emotions running through your head, you just kind of push them back and let yourself enjoy being home. Well, the closest thing you had to home before moving into the bunker. As you guided the boys down the streets, you find comfort in the fact that you know where you’re going. Some of the stores and restaurants have changed through the years, but there are a lot of places that are exactly as you remember. You pass psychics and costume stores with lines out the door as well as cafes and hex shops. If you didn’t know how dark witchcraft could actually be, you would be into that kind of thing. You’d be one of those girls keeping crystals on her bedside table and burning sage around the house. But sadly you do know, you know how bad magic can be and how it’s easy to descend into darkness. You push that from your mind too and trek on. For now, you’re going to enjoy yourself in your home turf. Later is when you’ll get your revenge. One thing you know for sure is that once you get the chance, you’re going to rip that witch Pricilla limb from Goddamn limb.


	19. Ghosts of Boyfriends Passed

You drag the Winchesters all over Salem pretending you’re a tour guide. Sam finds you amusing but Dean has to pretend he hates it and lightly mocks you. You don’t notice it get late with all the running around you’re doing. Even the boys who usually don’t seem to get tired are trudging by the time you’re done with your adventure. You’d shown them all your old hangouts and favorite places to shop. There was an unspoken mutual agreement that the three of you would steer clear of anything even slightly magical. It’s pretty dark out by the time you start making your way back to the motel. There are still a good amount of people milling around, enjoying the town at night but there are far less than there were when you started. You take the boys to one last stop before turning in for the night. It’s the local park, which happened to be the place you and Jake were headed to the night you lost him.

“This is it. This was my favorite place to come. Jake and I would always sit here and talk about life until we couldn’t keep our eyes open. There were so many times we’d be sitting here until long after dark just conversing and I’d consider telling him everything… About hunting, about my family, about my mental state… Things would seem so easy, so simple.”

Dean and Sam don’t reply, they just let you vent and Dean takes your hand. Looking around the park you pick out your favorite bench, the one you’d curly next to Jake on. There’s someone sitting there but you point it out.

“Right there, where that person’s sitting is where he’d sit.”

The bench is at least fifty feet away but you notice something about the man sitting on the bench. His back is to you but something about him looks familiar. Without really thinking, you take a few steps toward the bench. And then a few more. Suddenly your breath catches in your throat. Dean’s directly behind you and grabs your arm.

“What is it? You look like you saw a ghost…” Dean’s voice trails off and he sees what you see. 

The man on the bench turns around to face the two of you.

“Jake,” you whisper.

“Y/N! What a pleasant surprise.”

Your mouth drops and your knees buckle. Dean catches you under the arms and hauls you back to your feet. Sam comes up behind you and stops dead when he sees who’s in from of you.

“You… I thought you were dead!”

He nods knowingly, standing up. “Pretty much everyone does.”

Jake looks only a little bit older than the last time you saw him. He definitely looks more like an adult but not as old as he should of. It was years ago since you’d dated and usually in the time between seventeen and their mid-twenties, men change a lot. Something’s not right about him.

“Oh my god.”

“You figured it out didn’t you?”

“How… WHY?” You stammer. 

Dean grips your arm tighter. “Y/N, what’s going on?”

You can barely fathom what your brain is trying to tell you but you spit it out anyway. “He’s a witch now. And one who’s figured out immortality it seems.”

Jake smiles at you. “You always were quick.”

The Winchesters instantly reach for their weapons and Jake raises his hands as a sign he’s not going to hurt them. 

“Now now, I don’t want any trouble. What good would killing me do? Y/N asked a question and I intend to answer.”

Sam lowers his gun but Dean doesn’t. He has a protective look in his eyes. “Alright talk.”

Jake rolls his eyes before turning back to you and opening his arms. Automatically you allow yourself to be wrapped up in his embrace. It’s an old habit and habits die hard. You find yourself crying, genuinely crying, and Jake smooths your hair.

“Oh, it’s alright Y/N. I’m not dead, see? You can stop feeling all that guilt and sadness. You couldn’t have helped me, and I’m glad you didn’t. I will admit, I’ve missed you, but I’ve learned so much from Pricilla. This life has so much more to offer than bartending or even hunting.”

I an instant, you remember what’s going on and rip yourself from his grasp. Dean pulls you behind him and looks ready to kill. Whether he wants to kill you or Jake is debatable. You scrub away your tears with the back of your hand and fix Dean with a look of hatred. 

“How did this happen? How did you get like this?” You manage. 

“It’s all very simple really. Pricilla and her husband have been around for an obscene amount of time and get so lonely. You can’t really have children when you’re an immortal witch, so they create their own. I’m the only successful one so far.”

“What do you mean ‘only successful one”?” Dean demands.

“Well, some haven’t made it through the test of becoming a proper witch, some were killed off by hunters, and the latest attempt didn’t want this life, this power, so he killed himself,” Jake explained flatly. 

“It seems like they have a type,” Sam notes and you remember the pictures of the missing teenagers he’d collected.

“Jake… why would you want this?” You ask, poking your head out from behind Dean’s form.

He smiles again, this time looking much more like the person you remember. “I was a bartender in a tourist town. Where was I going? The only really good thing I had going for me was you, Y/N. I didn’t ask for this, but I’m so thankful for it. Do you know what I can do now? I can do whatever I want! I’m all powerful.”

Dean backs up, pushing you farther away from Jake. You hold onto him as an extra measure of safety. You don’t want to trust him and you know you shouldn’t, but when you see him, you only remember the boy you used to love.

“Jake, do you hurt people?”

“Not often. Not unless I have to.”

“Please don’t do this.” You move out from behind Dean. “You don’t have to live like this to be something. You had so much going for you. What are you going to do as an immortal? What happens when you get lonely? Everyone you love is going to die eventually. What happens then?”

“Well, that’s why I’m here in this park. Eventually, Pricilla told me you were a hunter, after all, you got her husband killed when you sent those other hunters to the pub. It didn’t take long to find out that the most infamous hunters in the world had taken you under their wing. Then you came back here, and as soon as you did, every witch in town, real or fake, felt it. I’ve been keeping track of you all day. I figured you were hitting up all the places you used to go, so I thought I’d wait here for you. I knew you’d come here. I want you to share this life with me! We were so good together and if you practiced magic with me, we could do anything.”

Before you can react, Dean grabs you by the back of your shirt and pulls you behind him again. The movement is so fast that you fall on your butt in the grass.

“You stay away from her!” He has his gun raised to Jake but the witch doesn’t seem phased. 

“You know the best part about practicing witchcraft? I can do things like this.”

Jake waves his hand at the Winchesters and the brothers fly backward. Sam hits a tree and slides to the ground while Dean falls out of the air. That leave you sitting in the grass before Jake. He reaches into his pocket and retrieves a small piece of paper. Taking a few steps forward, he hands the paper down to you.

“I know you must think I’m crazy, but at least consider it. Remember what we used to be? Remember how much I loved you? We could be so powerful.”

Looking up into his eyes, you do remember. You remember every feeling, every conversation, every kiss. He gives you a wink and you drop your eyes to the piece of paper in your hand. It has a phone number on it and is signed by Jake. When you look back up, he’s gone. You’re left on the ground, shocked, emotional, and just confused. It takes a few minutes to come to your senses and realize Sam and Dean may be hurt. Picking yourself off the ground, you go first to Sam under a tree nearby and helping him to his feet, you go to Dean. He’s already sat up and is rubbing his head. When you approach he looks up at you. There’s a hint of betrayal in his gaze. You offer your hand to him but he gets up on his own. 

“Dean, what am I gonna do? He gave me a number. Maybe we can use it to hunt him down!” 

He walks passed you, his shoulder bumping you and spinning you into Sam. Sam puts a hand on your shoulder as a form of comfort. 

“What are you gonna do? You’re gonna go meet your boyfriend, that’s what you’re gonna do.”

Dean stalks off toward the road and you stand there and let Sam push you along all the way back to the motel. As much as it was good to know Jake wasn’t dead, you wish that he was. It would have been better if you really had seen a ghost instead of reuniting with your witchy ex-boyfriend.


	20. Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap

It’s the middle of the night and pitch black outside the motel. Leaves rustle above you as you slip out the door. You pull your jacket tighter around you and grip your phone. Out of your pocket, you pull the piece of paper that Jake had given you. Once you’re a safe distance from the motel, you dial the number he’d scrawled on it. Your heart skips a beat as you hear the phone start to ring. After a few seconds, you hear Jake’s husky voice on the other line.

“Is this who I think it is?”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah, it’s me.”

“Well? The fact that you’re calling me is a good sign.”

“I thought about your offer, Jake.”

“Oh did you now?”

“I did… You have yourself a deal. But I have a condition.”

There’s a few seconds of silence before he asks, “And what’s that?”

You take a deep breath. “I just want one night. One night with you, no witchcraft, no powers, just the Jake I thought I lost years ago.”

“Done. Where are you now?” There was no hesitation.

You give him the address of the motel and hang up. Within ten minutes, a rumble of a car engine interrupts the sound of rustling leaves. A vintage red Corvette pulls up to the curb where you’re standing. You throw open the door and hop inside before Jake peels out of the parking lot. You look over at him and he puts a hand on your leg. At first, your instinct is to flinch away but you don’t. You remain calm and collected. 

“So what drove you to it?” He asks.

“I don’t know. I never really got over you. Seeing you earlier brought back all my feelings for you. And then Dean… He got furious about the whole situation and we fought. That’s what broke the deal for me. It’s not pretty when Dean gets mad. He can be really scary. Even his brother fears him.” It's hard for you to even get the words out. 

“You don’t have to fear me, Y/N. I’m never going to hurt you.”

“You have to tell me, Jake, who have you hurt? I need to know before I do this. I need to know everything.” You take his hand in yours. Like Dean’s, it's so much bigger than yours. There’s a slight twinge of guilt that comes with the thought of him but you push it aside. You have to do this. 

Jake glances away from the road to look at you. “I promise, before the night is over I will tell you everything. It just means the world to me that you’re back.”

It would be a lie if you said this was hard for you. It wasn’t exactly easy, but there was something about being with Jake that made you feel at home. After all, he was from the only real home you’ve ever known besides the bunker. His touch brought back all the memories about the normalcy you felt when you were with him. How you were able to be a teenager with a shitty job and too much homework who snuck into movie theaters and drove your friend’s car without a license. Everything was good then. Your mother was alive and you weren’t on the run from anything or anyone. Things were a bit more simple when you were with Jake. And now all the things that seemed hard with him were solved; he knows you're a hunter and all the things that come with that. But he still cares about you. And maybe you can get over whatever it is he’s had to do in his life. 

After a twenty minute drive out of Salem, the two of you arrive at an out of the way house. When you get out of the car you look around the land surrounded by trees. 

“Do you live here?”

Jake shakes his head. “No, not usually at least. It’s a meeting place of sorts. Pricilla and I live somewhere else. You and I are going to stay the night here in case you try and double cross me. You can’t tell the Winchesters where We live if you don’t know, now can you? Just like you, I have a condition. for the night.”

“And what’s that?”

“Turn your phone off and leave it in the car.”

Jake reaches his hand to grab your phone out of your pocket but you pull his body to yours and kiss him full on. The two of you stand there for a minute engaged in the kiss. 

“What was that for?” He asks when you release him.

“To make for some lost time.” You click your phone’s power button and put it in the passenger seat of the Vette.

“Alright then…” Jake leads you into the house.

Inside is homey and small. It’s warm and cozy which surprises you.

“I’ve never been in a witches lair before. It’s… Different than I imagined.”

“It’s not a lair. It’s where we invite people we’re not sure we can trust. Kind of a neutral place that’s not too public. I picked it out. After you had Pricilla’s husband Wilbur killed, she decided she needed to take more persuasions. We can’t have strangers parading through our house every time we want to crack a deal with someone now can we?” Jake locks the front door and makes sure all the curtains are closed.

“No, I guess not.” You take a seat on the couch. “So when do I get to see her? I’d like to formally apologize for all the trouble I’ve caused her.”

He pulls two wine glasses out of a cabinet along the far wall of the living room and the produces a bottle of red from a cooler in the kitchen.

“You’ll get to see her later tonight. I know you said no witchy stuff but we have to be really sure you're not gonna fuck us over,” he explains a bit apologetically.

You sigh and take the wine he’s poured for you. “Okay fine, but you owe me one.”

“I’m okay with that.”

An hour or so ticks by and you both drink wine and talk about being kids. It feels like your on a date and for a few minutes at a time you feel like you’re talking to the old Jake and not the witch he became. It’s nice to actually have someone you share good memories. Almost everyone else you have a history with is dead. Besides Sam and Dean of course but again you push the thought of them from your mind. You’re in too deep now. You have to go through with this. 

“I’m really glad to have you here, Y/N. I’ve been alone since you left Salam. You never got over me because I was supposed to be dead but I never got over you because I knew you were still out there. I knew I could make you mine again,” Jake says softly, leaning a bit closer to you on the couch. 

“Well, I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere.” You let him kiss you. 

The sensation is still a bit strange. The only person you’ve kissed in the past year or so is Dean. Yesterday you wouldn’t have believed you’d be letting an ex-boyfriend, an immortal one at that, plant his lips on you. Your life really is insane.

“So what time is Pricilla getting here?” You ask, looking at the clock on the wall. 

He shrugs. “She didn’t really say. I’m sure we have plenty of time, though.” He eyes you.

You take a deep breath for what feels like the hundredth time tonight. “Before we do anything, you promised to tell me everything. Everything bad thing you’ve done since becoming a witch.”

He nods. “Yes, yes I did, didn’t I? I guess I’ll just start.” Jake sets his wine glass down. “Ready?”

“As I can be.”

Looking down at his hands, he begins, “I’ve killed people. Probably too many. I lied when I said that I don’t hurt people often. Sometimes we need human sacrifices for spells and rituals. Immortality doesn’t come without a price and neither does selling your soul to a demon to get magic. Sometimes we have to do Hell’s bidding. That’s rare but every once in a while we have to pay our dues. Pricilla does a lot of nasty things in order to maintain her life here. She has to threaten or kill people when they start to get suspicious of her. People who wrong her get her terrible revenge. God, one of the local cafes stole her soup recipe and she hung all the employees and set the whole place on fire with the flick of her wrist. But she keeps me safe and that’s all I can ask for. She gave me a purpose. When you thought you saw me dead, you were seeing me get a whole new life. I’m the only child she has. She created me and I survived when all the others failed her. She loves me, Y/N. We keep each other safe and do what we have to to survive. Pricilla does some things she doesn’t have to but I don’t. I only harm people when it’s necessary for rituals. I’m not a bad person, I promise. I’m powerful and sometimes… Manipulate people, but I don’t hurt anyone I don’t have to. I wasn’t lying about that. And I wasn’t lying about how you’re the only one I want to spend my endless life with.”

With the last statement, he looks you dead in the eyes. This is all you needed to hear for you to know you’re making the right decision. You put a hand on his thigh and hold his gaze.

“You’re sure, for all eternity you only want me? Have you ever even been with another woman?”

“I… I tried. A few times. But I told you, I never got over you. Before this all I was a teenage boy who should have been hanging out with my friends and trying to get in other girls pants but all I wanted was to marry you and maybe open up our own place in Salem and live a happy life. My powers haven’t taken my dream of you away from me.”

There’s a long moment when you just stare at Jake, gripping his thigh, mouth open in surprise. Even Dean had never spoken about marrying you. All you can do is blink and try to comprehend what’s happening.   
“Oh my God, Jake.”  
He moves in closer again and this time you allow him to put his hand on your waist while the other to push you backward on the couch. When he presses his face to yours, you kiss him, deeper than the last two times but all you want to do is cry. 

“This is really happening, is this really happening?” You think to yourself. Then you feel Jakes back under your nails and realize, “Yes, this is happening.”

He pulls his shirt over his head and then does the same with yours. When he crawls back on top of you, you reach down your leg under the hem of your jeans, to pull at something that’s been chafing your leg all night. Planting your other hand on Jake’s chest, you pause him for a moment.

Your face is inches from his when you say, “I need you to know that I loved you. I really, really did.”

“I know.” He smiles softly. “I love you too.”

He leans in to kiss you again and you take the opportunity to drive the knife you retrieved from your pant leg into Jake’s back. The action is followed by his sharp inhale and the look of shock and absolute betrayal in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you whimper.

Jake tries to form words but in seconds his breathing stops and he falls to the floor next to the couch. Hysterical sobs escape your lips as you pull your shirt back on and retrieve your knife. The deed is done and the mission is over. Perfectly on time, the door breaks open and Dean Winchester strides through the opening. You kneel on the floor next to Jake, hands shaking and bloody. Dean throws a tarp over the body and starts to wrap it up.

“Pricilla came by about half an hour ago. We got lucky and were able to take her by surprise. She’s long gone so now, we just have to get rid of him and we can get the hell out of here,” Dean informs you, continuing his work. 

You say nothing and just look at him in awe. Breath comes in sharp inhales and shakey exhales. No more tears flow from your eyes but the trauma of what you’ve just done is setting in. Dean either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care.

“Dean…”

“Come on, grab your jacket. We’re getting out of here.”

Sam walks through the doorframe and helps Dean carry the witch out to the woods to be found by local police. You can’t even watch them cart him away like that. When they emerge from the trees, Sam points the way up the road to where they stashed the Impala.

“Wait! I need my phone from Jakes car,” you call, stopping the boys before they get too far.

They backtrack and the older brother beats you to the vehicle. Dean smashes the Corvette’s window with his elbow and retrieves your phone. He brushes glass off of it and chucks it to you.

“Move out,” he commands.

The three of you leave Salam in the dust before dawn. You get as far as you can before Dean and Sam are completely exhausted. Dean doesn't even argue when you volunteer to drive and gives you the keys so you can get everyone home. The whole drive no one said more than a few words to each other. Sam gave you a few sympathetic looks when he heard you crying in the back seat. You’re relieved when you finally get back to the bunker and can lock yourself in your old room to process what had happened the past few days. You barely got to enjoy your homecoming, you killed someone you once cared deeply about, and now Dean won’t even look at you. If there’s one thing you know for sure, it’s that never again will you step foot in Salam, Massachusetts again.


	21. Uncertain Futures

After getting home from the hunt, you all go to sleep until the next day. You sleep alone in your old room instead of trying to reason with Dean in your exhausted state. There’s no good reason for him to be acting the way he is. After you met Jake in the park, the Winchesters and you had gone back to the motel to make a plan. Dean had been a little heated but that was mostly because he’d been thrown through the air by a witch. He and Sam had come up with the idea that you were going to trick Jake into thinking he was getting you back. It was the only quick and easy way to kill him. Of course you had protested on every level.. Why did you have to be the one to kill him? Why did you have to let him thin you wanted to be with him? But Dean and Sam convinced you and you came to the conclusion that it was in fact for the greater good. Instead of going to war with two powerful witches, you could simplify the hunt for everyone and rid Salam of on of the bad mother-fuckers who had apparently been terrorizing it. You’d done your job and done it damn well. 

It had been so hard for you to literally stab Jake in the back like that. Of course your feelings for Dean were greater than any feelings you could have ever had for Jake but still, you had cared about him. You fled town because you thought he was dead, then years later discover he was very much alive, only to take his life with your own hands. And you had agreed to it all because of Dean and the greater good. So why was Dean so pissed off at you? You’re getting over what you had to do, justifying it because Pricilla and Jake were both killing people and making deals with demons. Now you’re just upset because of Dean. The two of you had gone so long without any problems and now this. For all you know, this could be the end for you and him. After months in the bunker with the boys, this could be the end. 

You sit on the edge of your bed with your knees to your chest. Sam and Dean are out getting groceries and supplies. Staring at your knees, you hope that maybe Sam will talk to him and get Dean to get a hold of himself. You’re just about to get up and shower when you feel a breeze on your face. When you look up, there’s someone standing directly in front of you.

“Jesus Christ Cas!”

The angel frowns at you in silence reprimand.

 

“Oh yeah, I’m sorry.” You look upward. “Sorry God, I didn’t mean it! As just scared the holy hell out of me!”

Castiel shakes his head and sits down next to you. “How are you doing?”

“Well, not great Cas. Where have you been?”

“Busy, you know, the usual. I came to check on you. I heard about what happened,” Cas tells you, giving you a look of sympathy.

“I’m over it now. It was for the greater good. Besides, I’m not gonna get any emotional support around here anyway.” You stare straight ahead.

Cas moves so he’s in your line of vision again. “That’s why I’m here. Sam asked me to come talk to you. He’s incredibly concerned for you. He knows what its like to have to kill someone you care about.”

“Oh so I’m not the first person who Dean forced murder upon.”

“Y/N,” Cas says firmly, “Dean is a good man. We’re all very lucky to have him around. But, he doesn't know what to do with his own emotions. He can’t work through them alone. That’s why God gave him you and Sam. Right now he needs you. I know you’ve just been through something traumatic, but for now you aren’t going to get the comfort from Dean that you need. You can go to Sam or call for me and we’ll comfort you, but for now you need to talk to Dean and help him.” The angel awkwardly grips your shoulder.

“But Cas, I don’t feel like he has any right to be upset. I don’t really pity him.”

“Maybe he doesn’t have the right, but you’ll never know what’s going through his head if you don’t ask.”

For a moment you just stare at Castiel. He’s saying that you have to be selfless and take care of Dean before he’ll take care of you. It still doesn’t make a ton of sense to you why your needs are temporarily less important than his but love does involve a lot of give before you can take. Besides, you know how that man can be. He’s difficult, even for you. You put your arms around Cas and squeeze. He’s still slightly confused my your hugs but he returns it.

“Thanks Cas, I needed that. I’ll talk to him as soon as he’s home.”

You get up and walk out into the bunker knowing Castiel will disappear in an instant anyway. You can hear the flutter of his exit from down the hall. The guys should be pulling in any moment now so you go to Dean’s room to wait for him. You’ll have to take that shower after you make up with Dean. Or you at least get somewhere with him. Entering the room and leaving the door open, you plunk down on the bedspread you picked out and pick up one of Dean’s car magazines. You bet if you flip through enough of them you’ll find a picture of the Vette that got its window bashed in the other night. You thought it ti be unnecessary; the car didn’t do anything wrong. But you figured it was another jab at Jake from Dean. 

When Jake had made you leave the phone in his car, you were sure that the plan wasn’t going to work. All the way to the house you’d had your GPS on so Sam could track you. You needed to make sure the location of the house went through before you turned the device off so you’d stalled Jake with a kiss. Luckily that was just enough time for Sam to get the signal and he and Dean came to complete the mission by catching Pricilla. You’s intended on requesting her presence but you hadn’t even needed to. It all worked almost too perfectly. That’s why you believe that it was meant to be and had to happen. 

Soon you hear the noisy arrival of Sam and Dean and prepare yourself for the conversation you’re about to have. It take a few minutes for them to unload an out things away but eventually you hear Dean’s footsteps in the hallway. You see him walk by the door and notice its open, then backtrack to see you sitting on the bed.

“Come here,” you order. 

For just a moment, you assume he’s going to walk away but instead he enters and shuts the door behind him. It's the first time the two of you have been alone in few days. It’s awkward which has never before been a word you’d use to describe your time with Dean. He pulls a chair up next to the bed and straddles it. 

“Did you have something you wanted to talk about?” He asks, eyes focused on the back of the chair. 

You pull yourself off the pillows and cross your legs. “I was gonna ask you the same question. You haven’t so much as made eye contact with me since Salam.”

Rubbing his face, he nods saying, “I know… I’m sorry. It was a rough hunt.”

“You’re fucking telling me.”

For a minute or so the tow of you gaze at each other, waiting for the other to say something. It’s Dean who breaks the silence. 

“Y/N… I don’t know what to say.”

A little bit of anger sparks up in you. “Well, you could start by telling me why you’ve been so pissed at me? Or why you haven’t even asked me if I’m okay? Why it seems like I’m being punished for doing a job I didn’t want to go through with in the first place? Or maybe why an angel had to come down from heaven and tell me you were upset instead of you just coming to me?”

“You know I’m not good with feelings, Y/N.”

“And I’m not good with putting a knife in my ex-boyfriend’s back, but I guess we all have to do things we don’t want to do.”

Dean drops his head and holds it in his hands. Again there’s silence and you can no longer see his face. You wonder of he might be crying.

“Well? What? What’s going on Dean? I’ll I know is that you came up with the idea for me to trick Jake and then kill him, it scarred me emotionally, and now you hate me for it. I feel like I’m the one who should be pouting, not you,” you tell him in a softer, less angry tone. 

His head still lowered, he replies, “I don’t hate you. And I’m not mad at you, I’m just mad.”

“Is it because of Jake? Because again, you came up with the plan, I wanted no part of it. I did it for you. I thought we were passed with whole jealousy thing.”

He looks up at you, jaw tightened, eyes glossy. 

“This is different. It's more than that. God, I’m not even sure what it is. I know I came up with the plan; I wish I hadn’t. I forced you to kill someone you loved and I got to see you almost fuck him first. I know I told you I was okay if you weren’t over him yet, but that was when he was supposed to be dead.”

“So it is jealousy thing?”

“No… Yes… It’s a lot more than that, would you just let me talk?” Tears had started to fall from his eyes.

“I’m always going to be jealous, that’s part of being human. From the moment I saw you crying in his arms, I wanted him dead. But it should have been me killing him. I could have gotten over you still caring about him, but I went and fucked it up worse. I was pissed and I came up with some crack plan and I hurt you in the process. I should never have done that. I made you kill someone you loved. The fact that I did that kills me. But the way he looked at you, hell, the way you looked at him. You probably would have had so much more to live for with him than you do here in this bunker. And then he offered you immortality and I… Y/N, I can’t even guarantee you tomorrow.”

There are streams running from Dean’s perfect green eyes. You don’t have any idea as to what to say to make the tears stop. You crawl to the edge of the bed and put a hand on his arm.

“Dean…”

“No, Y/N, you said it yourself. Every single day I could die, really die. What we do is more than just dangerous, it’s suicidal. There will be a day that I go on a hunt and don’t come back to you. And there we were in your hometown, with the only other man you’ve ever cared about, and he offers you forever. An eternity and all the power you could ever want. All I can give you is an indefinite amount of time in a rusted out bunker and cheap hamburgers.”

Without hesitation or thought, you grab Dean’s face and press your lips to his. You kiss him with every ounce of emotion you can muster, and he reciprocates, pulling you off the end of the bed. He stands and picks you up in his arms so you can wrap your legs around him. For what feels like forever, you just enjoy the feeling of touching him. Moving back to the bed, he lays you down and lowers his weight onto you.

“I can’t lose you, Y/N, and I can't let you lose me. I can’t do that to you,” he breathes.

“Dean, I would take the most uncertain future with you over anything anyone else could offer me. This bunker is my home and burgers are my favorite. I don’t want anything else, I just want you.”

“But what if I die?” He asks, still crying.

“If you go, I go. We’ll go down swinging. Together.”

Dean takes your face in his big, worn hands and lands a kiss on your forehead, promptly followed by a more aggressive kiss on your lips. Following his lead, you unbutton his shirt and help him shrug it off. It falls to the floor, along with his t-shirt and your band shirt. Soon both of your pairs of jeans join the pile and you’re giving yourself up to Dean once again. This time is deeper and slower than before. He takes special care to look you in the eyes and tell you he loves you over and over again. It’s not frantic and heated but still equally as pleasurable. Making love to Dean is just as satisfying as letting him fuck you silly.

“Dean, even if we can’t be together for the rest of time, I want you for the rest of our time.”

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Dean.”


	22. Bunker in the Snow

"Can you explain to me why I'm putting together a fake tree when there are tons of real ones outside?" Dean grumbles, struggling with the branches of a fake Christmas tree.

Sam sits on the floor untangling a strand of lights. "You'd probably complain more if she were having you chop down a tree in the woods right now."

Dean nods in agreement and continues to put the fresh from the box tree together. "I don't mind as long as YOU find a place for it when this is all over." He looks at you.

"Don't worry, I will! I just wanted us to act like a real family this Christmas."

"It is nice. Dean and I can do Christmas just the two of us, but it's not the same," Sam tells you.

Dean finishes snapping the tree together and reaches for the cup of instant hot chocolate you made him. "Now this is something I can't argue with."

"Dean Winchester, are you enjoying a holiday?" You tease.

"Hey, I'm capable of having fun!"

"Yeah, when it involves drinking and burgers," Sam cuts in.

"Especially if it involves drinking and burgers! But if you guys want to do Christmas, then we'll do Christmas."

You and Sam share a look.

"I wasn't expecting you to be so willing," you say.

"Well, like Sam said, it's kinda nice. People do the kind of work we do should have a little joy now and then."

Sam seems surprised but satisfied and you're grateful that Dean's being receptive to the celebration. You move from helping Sam untangle old lights over to a box of decorations on the table. You fish out some cheap plastic hanging balls and other ornaments you picked out at the supermarket. Dean starts taking things out of boxes and helping you loop hooks through them.

"No way... Where did you find this?" He lifts an ornament box for you to see.

"Oh cool!" Sam says, "It's Baby!"

He's right. In Dean's hand is a little ornament shaped like ht Impala. He takes it out of its packaging with enthusiasm. 

"I picked it up at the store," you tell them, "I figured that she's basically part of the family, why not get her an ornament?"

Dean pulls you in for a half hug and kisses your forehead. "You could get me to like all holidays if you start including Baby."

"Oh right because your girlfriend and your only living family member isn't enough for you," Sam jokes. 

"Let's be honest, that car is cooler than both of you."

You and Sam shrug and you pick up the strand of lights that Sam has un-knotted and begin lacing it through the branches of the tree. Sam helps you fluff out the fake pine needles and make the lights look pretty. You guys are the only ones who will see it all but this is the sort of thing that makes Christmas fun. When the two of you are done hanging the lights Sam helps you and Dean put up the ornaments. You're nearly done when Sam pulls out a little angel from the box.

"Is this the tree topper?" He asks.

"Of course!"

Dean takes it from his brother. "Why does it have a trench coat?"

"I don't know any angels without trench coats," you say flatly.

This pulls laughter from the boys. It's moments like this where you feel like a real family. Though most families don't live in a bunker, yours does, and it's better than having nowhere to live. You make this place your own with Sam and Dean's help. Seeing it all decorated makes it feel even homier. Sam and Dean joke and laugh and help you put the finishing touches on the tree. When the last ornament is hung, the three of you stand back and admire your work. It's a pretty little tree and it draws smiles from each of you. Sam give you a little squeeze and pats you on the shoulder. Once all the boxes are put away, you make some cookies and settle in to watch your favorite Christmas movie on your laptop.

"I can't believe neither of you has ever seen Christmas Vacation!"

"I can't believe you have; this movie is older than you are!" Dean retorts. 

"And it's so good, you'll love it."

Sam munches on a chocolate cookie next to you and puts his feet up on the table. "I have to hand it to you, Y/N, this is hands down the best Christmas we've ever had."

"Well, you still have a few days to wait for that! You haven't seen the presents I got you yet!"

This time Sam and Dean share a look. "Good thing I predicted you might do something like that," Dean says. 

"What does that mean?"

"I guess you'll just have to find out, won't you?"

With that, you all turn your attention to the movie and relax. You brought Christmas joy to the bunker and you're quite pleased with yourself.


End file.
